Who do you think you are?
by Katherine2701
Summary: "Who am I? What am I doing here? Answer me! Anyone?" The story of an amnesiac/ex-criminal/psycho at Arkham Asylum at the time of Joker's riot. T for torture, abuse and a whole lot of darkness.
1. Chapter 1: The musings of a amnesiac

**Who do you think you are?**

Chapter 1:

"And who do you think you are,

Running 'round leaving scars,

Collecting your jar of hearts,

And tearing love apart,

You're gonna catch a cold,

From the ice inside your soul,

So don't come back for me,

Who do you think you are?"

- Jar of Hearts, Christiana Perri

Reality is like a snowglobe.

Shake it just a tiny bit and all the particles of glitter fall in beautiful chaos. Just the smallest amount of disturbance can turn all of us into chaotic messes as well. We're all in our little bubbles, alone and insolent to the world around us. How pathetic we all are, to forget such a wonderous world like ours in order gain some sort of normality. What is normality anyway? Why do we crave it so much? I have no idea. Then again, I don't have any idea about a lot of things though so it's not like my opinon is worth anything anyway.

Ok, my list of things I've remebered today. The doctor keeps telling me to do this and I may as well start it off now since I'll probabilly forget about it later.

1) Rain is when droplets of water fall from the sky. It's been raining a lot these past few days and I've finally remebered what the word was for it.

2) Nightmares are unpleasant dreams. I've been having nightmares ever since I woke up and half way through my daily physical exercises I finally remebered the word for it - mid handstand.

3) Vomit is the expulsion of the contents of someones stomach. I threw up twice yesterday and I believe another wave is soon coming.

4) Bananas are edible fruits that are full of Potasium. The doctor has recently introduced these to my diet but I'm not sure I actually like them. They're too mushy for my taste.

I'm in the process of remebering my sixth item but I can't quite get it. Large word. Important word. Complex word. What the world is it? I want to know. I need to know. It's like it's stuck on the edge of my tongue with ... with. Damn it, what is that thing? The sticky thing, looks white and keeps things ... well stuck. Hmmm ... Glue! That's it, glue. It's like it's stuck on the edge of my tongue with glue. Weird word, glue. What was I saying again? Oh yes that sixth (well I suppose seventh now) word I have remebered or in the process of remebering. It's very important that I remeber it but it's just so hard. I lay awake at night trying to remeber it but it's just so annoying. Oh, yeah! I just remebered another thing.

Tomatos are actually fruit.

I'm remebering things all over the place today!


	2. Chapter 2: Gotham news

Chapter 2:

Anyway, my mind is working way too much today. I suppose I'm finally going insane like the rest of my neighbours. They're a nice enough crowd at times when they're not taunting me, making crude jokes or raving about gruesome ways to snap a man's spine in half with everyday objects such as pencils. I'm not allowed to talk to them. She told me not to speak, not to rise to their taunts, not to look or even smell them till she comes. I gave my word and I ... I can't break it. But who was she I'm taking orders from a woman I don't even know, which is kind of pathetic really but I have a feeling not to try and do otherwise.

My neighbours are all very talkative over whether the Joker (an insane guy who is supposed to be the big cheese around here) was going to win his little brawl with Batman (a so called 'hero' who has probably put most of these people in here) today. They were all taking bets and trying to see who would get more scraps; Batman or the Joker. Out loud they supported the Joker but in the privacy of their minds I know they only did do so in order so that when he is thrown back in this pit - that he would be merciful to them and not try to kill them or their loved ones.

People are cowards in that respect.

I looked up out of my cell towards the bashed and cracked wreak of a television (a word I picked up on the first week of my 'treatment' cycle) in order to see how things are on the outside. A woman named Poison Ivy got taken down last week by the Batman after a deranged attempt to level a factory that was sawing down 'rainforests' to make wooden furniture, whatever they are. Then there was a man called 'the Calendar man' who got out of this place two days before that. The Penguin is rumoured to be out working the streets again; gearing up for some fight against Batman, but so far he's not made his move. I've heard that a few others are here too from Blackwood due to a 'accidental' fire there so it's more rowdy then usual. My cell, sorry 'home', is located in Intensive Treatment in the centre of Arkham Asylum so there's plenty of neighbours to watch out for. I keep myself to myself mostly, since I haven't actually spoken to any of the people here in fear of them lining up some sort of electric shock therapy like they do for the others. The doctors say I have Post traumatic stress disorder and that I also have something called 'Recessive Amnesia' but I have no idea what all that means. A nail that stands out gets hammered in, as the old motto goes. So I stay quiet, stay solemn and above all try not to make a name for myself.

According to the television; the Joker has currently barricaded himself into the Mayor's office and its assumed that the Batman is currently making his way to him. I can't see any sign of a battle though, since there is no usual bangs and sparks appearing from the windows of the building, but soon I think the doors will open and the Batman will pull the Joker out with cuffs on his wrists. It's only a matter of time till then. However, what had gained my interest in what was going on the outside was the swarms of reporters that descended on the Mayor's office in order to gain an exclusive scoop on the action. Isn't it funny that we all worry about appearing normal so the rest of us don't turn on ourselves? We fashion ourselves into perfect citizens in order to make sure that no one notices us and in effect makes the wheels of society turn. Every discovery, I suppose, therefore is made in the fear of being betrayed by society and our peers.

Treachery makes the world go around in short.

It's a crude idea but one I can easily swallow. Humans are so maluable after all.


	3. Chapter 3: Psychiatrists are dumb

Chapter 3:

I looked on the on-screen clock on the television to see it was ten minutes till two. My appointment with the doctor is soon. I have about forty-three seconds before the guards (sorry 'protective wardens') realise that and prepare for me to be transported to the Room. I stretch a little on my crowded bunk, and stand up. I mastered walking three weeks ago and running about four days after that. Then there was Cartwheels, handstands, front flips, back flips, rolls, handsprings, somersaults, splits and last but not least walking on my hands to be learned. I must of been a circus acrobat or something, since I learned these far quicker then what the doctors say is 'normal'. Strange.

"Opening up! Inmate 2013, face the wall and do not resist. Force may be used to retrain you if you try and resist. Keep your eyes on her boys and keep those guns primed!" A voice rings through the stone cold walls of my fortress home. I faced the slimy wall like clockwork and heard the squeak of the door as the rusty joints were forced open. I don't struggle like before. Struggling only allows for them an excuse to hurt me even though they're not allowed to. They clawed at my hands like wild beasts and roughly tie them together. Then one of them shoves me around like a rag doll to face the door. One of them has the cheek to pinch my arms in sadistic delight as he drags me up. I keep my head down and try to ignore them. They manhandle me forward and transport me, with the aid of few crude kicks, through several corridors. Then I see the Room. They release my hands that ache from the abuse of being restrained and pulled around like a marionette. One of the men release me and force me, with some force I might add, to sit down on the chair inside. I've been here a lot of times and it hasn't really changed in either looks or smell.. It smells like ... armpits! Inside the Room are two chairs, a desk and a wilting plant in a dingy pot encrusted with mold, all of which I note are nailed down just in case a patient throws a fit. A almost corny looking picture about self happiness is hammered into the wall, and securely caged so I can't pick it up like the furniture. I compose myself a little and look up slightly as the doctor closes a slim file and puts it in front of her.

"Are we going to talk today about what happened?" she asks me with a friendly yet completely generic tone. Her name is Molly, I think, and she is very plain. With mousy brown hair that was perfectly fixed into a small bun centred exactly in the middle of the back of her head. Her eyes were a murky blue and generally unnoticeable while her figure was slim and petite. Petite is a funny word. I think she must look a lot better then me right now as I'm not exactly pedigree in looks at the moment. The only water that has touched me during my stay here is either damp that leaks in sometimes or the sudden bursts from a hose when I arrived to clean me of the blood and various effects that adorned my wreaked body. I was a mess back in that first week, only able to shuffle a few meters, and even that was difficult. I had wasted away to a point where every time I breathed it felt like hot knives were carving into me. I've begun to regain a lot of weight that I had lost before that, but I still remember the feelings of weakness and dependency. I guess I'm still like that at times. It's a sobering thought.

My silence makes her polite smile dip a little. "You know I would be a lot more happier if you tell me your name. These sessions wouldn't have to be so formal then!" Silence, yet again. She sighs and relinquished her strict posture as if she was actually disappointed. "Ok, since I don't know your name I'll have to use your number. So, inmate 2013, how is your day today?" Well I've remembered seven, no eight, things today and I've pondered why society progresses. I've also solved the important question of whether a tomato is a vegetable or a fruit so that's a plus. I don't dare say any of this to this stranger though. She's a Questioner and Questioners are not to be talked to at all according to ... to that woman ... Damn it! What is that woman's name? Molly? No! Polly? No! Dolly? No! Holly? No ... wait a minute. Yes! That's that woman's name! Holly! But who is this Holly? And how do I know her? Just when I think one questions answered, then a billion other ones spring up! Just my luck.

We go like this for around about an hour. She asks a question. I am silent. She asks again. I am silent. She gets angry. She asks another question. And the cycle repeats again until the whole conversation seems dull and contrived just like that first smile of hers. I find myself daydreaming about things in the room. The picture is of a misty track with autumn coloured ... leaves ... lying at the sides. The whole scene is not very notable except for the almost laughable quote printed in little cursive words on it. 'If you were happy before you know someone, you can still be happy after they're gone ...' is almost as futile as these sessions. You can't be happy after someone leaves! That's the whole point of leaving, being sad. If you're not sad about someone important to you leaving then you're viewed as psychotic by society and kicked into this place for treatment. It's completely hypocritical and irrational, so why is it here? Maybe it's a sign saying how hypocritical and irrational it is to be sane? After all the only true escapes from the unhappiness of life is to either die, go into a deep coma or go mad. I puzzled this a little before realising that the doctor was releasing me so I could go back to my cell. "There's no point of me even being here if she's like this! Take her back to her quarters, we're done for the day!" What's a quarters? It's too late to think about this though as they already tie my hands and bustle me out before my mind can process the events around me.


	4. Chapter 4: She's a killer Queen

Chapter 4:

The walk is slow and uneventful before we reach a crossing near a room called 'Patient Effects', where an army of armed guards stood in a formation I recognised as being the one they use to transport prisoners, sorry 'patient's. "Hold up!" one of the men escorting me ordered with a hand gesture that I'm sure means to stop. We came to a halt instantly and I quickly felt the need ... no the desire to escape. I looked at my situation and came up with a possible escape plan. Since the guards are a little distracted with the hold up to notice me slip out of my handcuffs. I think I could take them if I had the use of my hands. I'll then knock two out and crawl through the vent I see to my left in order to flee this place.

I move my hands slightly and get to work before anybody realises what I am doing. I listen in on the men while doing so in order to make sure I time my escape perfectly. "Sorry Officer, transfer from one of the cells, sir! Catwomans tried to do a Harry Houdini again, sir. So we're moving her to a more secure cell just in case, sir! May I ask who is your charge, sir?" A privates voice spoke with false confidence. Obviously the guy was new and terrified of his current postion. You should of transfered kid, should of transferred. I look slightly forward to see a woman wearing skin-tight, black, leather catsuit amongst the guards with identical handcuffs to mine. Like me she's struggling to get out of them but isn't having any luck. The woman's face has fairly pretty, with black eyeliner and scarlet lipstick. She displayed her chest tauntingly at the guards but this apparently was an outdated technique and the guards paid her no mind. Other then the catsuit, she wore tough, durable boots and had scarlet glazed goggle positioned on the top of the catsuit's hood that reminded me comedically of the ears of a feline. Everything about her was familiar but I couldn't figure out why? I looked down and got on with the task a head. I'll leave her to create a distraction so I can escape. It will be hard enough to get out of here on my own with out a tag along.

"You know the case of the Brigham county murders a month ago? With those ten cops? You're looking at their killer! Young girl, found near the last guy covered in blood and who knows what else. One of the men who arrested her was ... let's just say a little rough. Got thrown into a wall or something causing her memory to go pop! Don't even know her own name, the little bitch!" I. Am. Not. A. Bitch. Plain and simple. And I don't believe that I would of done those kinds of things. These men are obviously liars or being manipulated into thinking I'm the killer of those men they speak of. I may not know my history, or precisely how to use a fork, but I know my own heart and it tells me that I wouldn't kill a man even if my life depended on it.

"What do you call her then?" I stop my hand short and risk a second look up at the two men. I needed to know something back in my cell. Something very important. Was it my name? Was that the thing that keeps me awake at night? I need to know!

"Inmate 2013 but the lads call her 'The Queen of Hearts' after her little stunt!" The Queen of Hearts? Not a name I suppose but I think it's a title of some sorts. A book maybe? Um ... I think it's 'Alice in Wonderland' - Heaven knows that Gotham hasn't had enough of their characters. I continue with my struggle with these infernal handcuffs. I slipped my hand slightly out without them seeing and since my arms were positioned near my thighs, then I had no problem with sliding the other one out. I held the cuffs convincingly before sneaking another look up at this 'Catwoman'. She was the one from before on the TV near my cell. Surely she is important enough to create a sizeable amount of distraction while I escape. I met her eyes and something clicked inside my mind. Don't leave her. For God's sake, don't leave her. She's trustworthy; she's someone who is close to me. Don't leave her here. I winked in way that I suppose signalled to her that I had successfully escaped the cuffs. She winked back.

So had she.


	5. Chapter 5: Changing minds and outfits

Chapter 5:

We hit out at the same exact moment.

The events happened like clockwork. I guess I must have been a fighter in my old life but definitely not the usual drunken bar brawl one. My hands moved automatically, not to traditionally punch the guards but to jab certain places rapidly giving them very little chance or time to react or counter. Each combination was timed perfectly and led to each guard being either paralysed or simply knocked out so in the time of about five minutes, I had disabled each and every one of the guards surrounding me without drawing a single drop of blood. Which, of course, draw the obvious question of; what the hell am I?

The other prisoner Catwoman had also defeated her set of guards with what I somehow recognised to be an expertly conducted combination of martial arts that were seamless and aerobically fantastic. She looked around at the unconscious guards at our feet before casually swaggering towards me with a look that told me she was very full of herself. Swaggering, funny word that. "New patient in the Intensive Treatment lobby, all non-essential staff to vacate the area!" The tanoy played as she pulled me into the 'Patient effects' room. She closed the door behind us and locked it as I looked around to see if the contents of the room were of any use to me. A load of lockers were positioned in the room, with little numbers inscribed on them detailing which patient it belonged to. My eyes travelled across the numbers till they came across one that allured my interest.

_Inmate 2013_

Yes, that's me. Names are funny.

She leaned against a locker and studied me intently for a moment before smiling as if amused by some sort of private joke. "You know, you could have just called me! It would of been a lot easier then this whole breakout attempt here!" this left me very confused. I have a feeling I know this woman, this Catwoman, but I don't know exactly the terms of our relationship.

"What are you talking about?" I haven't spoken since I woke up and then only a few explanation of swear words that I suppose never leave you even when you're mind goes 'pop' and does a runner. My voice sounded alien to me and very harsh on the ears. I guess not using it makes a voice sound like that. I cleared my throat and repeated the question in a more composed and clearer way.

"Oh yeah, the Amnesia thing! You know I kind of hoped that it was just an act but now I see you in person ... well don't take it personally but you look like crap. I suppose I better re-introduce myself! Hi, I'm Selena and I'm the woman who's been saving your sorry behind every time you get in shit that you can't get out of! Oh, and you're name's Hailey by the way if you didn't know!" Ok, so I have a mother now? A villianess as a mother, joy! I suppose I like my name, it is kind of quirky after all, but now's not really the time to laugh.

"Hailey? H-A-I-L-E-Y? And you're Selena, my mom? No offence lady but you're kind of young!" She looked around the late twenties/ early thirties and certainly not the age to have kids my age. The doctor, Susan, estimated that I was around the early twenties in age so it seemed kind of strange for such a young woman to have a kid as old as me. Especially considering her occupation as a criminal.

"Well, not biologically, but I am the woman who's got you out of more trouble then you could possibly think of so I suppose it's sort of the same. ow, I'd love to keep swapping stories but for now we've got to escape this hell-hole! Any ideas?" Great, foster mom to the rescue. With no plan, no backup and no idea for escape. This just keeps getting better and better.

"No, I was rather depending on that grate in the hallway for an escape while you divert attention and get captured yourself!" my tone projected to her my spite and bitterness over her unprepared state. What do we have? About twenty minutes before the guards wake up or shrug off their bruises to call for help? If we're luckily that is!

"That's kind of cold, Hailey!" her voice was disapproving but slightly, very slightly, amused by my callousness. She moved closer to me with an almost pitiful attempt at staying angry.

"Welcome to the madhouse!" I looked back at the locker and studied the lock on it. It wasn't very secure, with an easily crackable lock that could be picked by even the most stupid of thieves. She gave a small chuckle beside me at the comment as the tanoy yet again came on.

"Alert in Intensive Treatment! Category 9 patient in transit. Pacification system active. Shoot to kill permissions granted!" Category 9? I'm only category 3 myself, so it's probably one of the more bloodthirsty of inmates. One that is dangerous enough so that if he get's loose, he could kill on a mass scale.

"Sound's like they're moving one of the big boys! Croc probably, he's always making them jumpy!" She pushed me gently to the side and took a hair clip from her head. I moved across slightly out of her light but not so far that I couldn't see what she was doing. Her hands were nimble and within seconds, broke the code with a rezoning click. I pushed the door of the locker open and looked inside. Inside was an outfit of sorts, with a colour scheme of red, white and black. The main body of the outfit was a black catsuit with a small crimson red tutu around the waist with white ruffles that was purely cosmetic. Around the legs were holsters for what imagine must be for 22 caiber automatic handguns of course missing from the locker, along with similar holsters for two deadly sharp daggers that were identically missing. There was also a pair, long red leather gloves, black boots and a simple hair-band included in the outfit. I put it on, grateful to be out of the annoying orange prison clothes they had made me wear, before using the hair-band to tie back my greasy, almost slimy feeling hair into a knot that I normally see on a Questioner. Slightly messy but adequate I suppose for practicality. The costume was an eerily perfect fit, so it must be mine after all!

"Nice threads, you always had good taste with clothes!" Selena's voice was casual as she examined the numbers on the lockers. So I know fashion now? What next? A sudden talent to draw using my toes ... now that I think about it, I might be able to since I can walk on my hands. Ok, moving on before I creep myself out even more!

"Where did this come from?" I asked her, since I wasn't so sure with timelines due to the whole MEMORY LOSS thing! Honestly I didn't know what to think about my previous self right now apart from the fact she was seriously had a few screw loose to dream up an outfit that looks like it was designed by a three-year old. Psycho it is ...

"I think you made it just after your first kill? I watched the footage of it on the cameras in the first guy's office and you were wearing your old uniform in it with the exception of a few gashes and a little ... blood. You must have changed after that. It was scary Hailey, I've never seen you so angry before ... even when you were the 'White Rabbit' you never went for the kill. You always used those mystical kung fu mumbo jumbo powers of yours to knock out your attackers even if they were shooting at you!" I am not a killer! I can't be ... I've ... I've been framed. It's the only explanation I can think of. I would never kill, that is my code. My law. My promise. But someone is trying to make it seem like I have and when I find that person, then I'll give him over to another who'll work the guy over a little for daring to try and make people think I would break my ethics. Selena must know someone who'll have that skill set, and I know that the inmates of Arkham got here because many of them know exactly how to break a person physically, emotionally and spiritually. However, this 'mystical kung fu mumbo jumbo' is the real issue at the moment. I need to find out exactly what I did to those guards and maybe that'll tell me a little of what I was before all of this. A clue if you will to the riddle of my past.

"What the hell did I do to the guards?" I watched her closely and noticed her body freeze uncomfortably for a few split seconds before she regained her composure. She's obviously nervous and doesn't want to talk about this, why?

"Not now, Hailey! Later! Now where's all my little weapons? Let's see! my locker? Let's see! 'Patient artefacts weaponry' ... Inmate 1940 ... ah yes here it is!" She walked around the lockers before I heard the satisfying click of a locked door being successfully picklocked by everyone's favourite house cat. She came out and fixed some clawed gauntlets, bolas, and a whip to her belt before passing me the missing weapons from my outfit. Two daggers, two fully loaded 22. caliber guns and one weird-looking computer thingy that appeared to attach to the wrist using a leather strap on the back. I pressed the scree experimentally as it came to life to show a small yet detailed map of my location including little dots showing heat signatures. I had no clue, of course, of how to work the damn thing other than that so I ignored it all together. Don't want to find out it has a self destruct do I?

"Good, all suited up and ready to go. I suppose now, you'll be calling yourself 'The Queen of Hearts' instead of 'White Rabbit' like before but oh well? You'll be looking good anyway!" thank-you for the compliment but why is it a bad time to talk? I just disabled a whole group of men without drawing blood and you're not giving me any answers, that doesn't make any sense!

Then noticed her pulse was higher than normal, while sweat droplets were falling down her forehead and her eyes weren't meeting mine. All indicators that this is a touchy subject. I can't ask right now, I need this woman to get me out of here first. Then I'll ask. Obviously she's hiding something from me so I'll find out when it's a better time when we're not hiding in at a madhouse with numerous bad guys itching to kill or who knows what else to us.

"Intensive Treatment lower floors are now at level Red Alpha!" the tanoy interrupted my hard stare at her as I, almost by instinct, look up in fright. Red Alpha? I've never heard of that code. Sounds like trouble though, maybe a new inmate being dragged in or making trouble for the guards. I looked at Selena for her opinion, being the more experienced of us both and the least brain-damaged.

"Jokers being moved here after his little fiasco at the Mayor's office. I trust you've followed it? He didn't even put up a fight, and to me that's seems a little fishy!" fishy, fish, cat's eat fish! Get it? Oh that's a gut cracker, that really is. But Joker's being moved here? That's ... troubling.

"I've followed it but I didn't know that he had been caught so quickly!" That look she gave me was very strange as if she's trying to see how I would react to this twist in the plan. Why is that? Is she testing me? Testing how I react under pressure? interesting.

"Yeah, he's caught alright. Now come on! We need to find a way out of here!" Ok, calm down and don't ask any more questions. I need to pass her little test if I want to get out of this place alive, and then ... then I'll question her by hanging her off a building by her leg to see if cats really do land on their feet.

Or on their heads ...


	6. Chapter 6: Now we're in trouble

Chapter 6:

I looked around to see a grate above some lockers. I looked around a little, seeing if there was any alternatives, failing to find another way out of the room, I ran up to the stack of lockers at a precise angle to gather the approximate height I needed to scale them. I used the locker handles, that I noted stuck out slightly, as hand and foot holds. You know, I take back the comment about being from the circus - it's obvious now that I must of been an alien or an escaped government experiment that my previous neighbours loved to mutter about in their sleep.

Clowns are scary.

What was that?

Oh God! Sorry, just nearly fell! Note to self; don't remember things this high up. Anyway, I managed to reclaim a hold before climbing on top of the last locker to face the grate. "Hey, I think I've found out exit!" I called down in time to see Selena elegantly pouncing up the lockers - without falling; the little show off - before landing near me with all the composure of a statue. She examined the grate for a moment before straightening and putting a hand out as if expecting me to give her something.

"Your dagger, give it!" She ordered as I pasted the blade obediently. She crouched down and undid the screws of the grate with it, before pulling the grate off and hurling it down behind her. "It's a small fit. You go first, I'll have your back if anything happens!" she moved out of my way as best as she could before I stuffed myself into the vent and started crawling. She was right; it was a small fit but on my hands and knees I could move better. The vent smelled like the Room; of sweaty armpits! There was green slime everywhere! Ew! The path through here wouldn't be the most pleasant but at least there wasn't any trigger happy guards about. I could hear Catwoman behind me grumbling about the filth and how Arkham needs a better cleaning crew but I paid her no mind. I concentrated ahead and tried to ignore the squishing sounds of what I dread to think about being crushed underneath me.

Where do we go in here anyway?

I tried to keep on the main path but ended up at a wrong turn near a grate in some room that I didn't recognise. It looked like a laboratory of some sort, as it was far more cleaner then the other areas I've been in over my 'lovely' stay here at Arkham Asylum. Of course it wasn't luxurious or anything like that but at least it didn't have rats scurrying around. I hate rats. They always nibble on your toes or steal your crumbs of food. Horrible little pests, rats are, and what's worse is that they're massive here in the Asylum with the large amounts of filth and decay in here. A few inmates were looking around stupidly in their cells while the others started to chant something that I couldn't make out past their grunts and snorts. There was a lot of foreign looking machinery with blinky lights on along with the flashy gate things that really hurt if you touch them. I've done that enough times to know that. I was aware of movement in the room but I was distracted when I heard a voice behind me. "Move over and let me see!" whispered Selena as she peered over my shoulder to find out why I had stopped moving. I tried my best to mould myself into the wall as she took a glance in front of me. Suddenly Catwoman whimpered behind me as I caught sight of one of the most weirdly dressed men I had ever seen. He had green hair! I always thought that humans only had brown, red, black or blonde hair, so what the hell?. His suit looked shabby and ill-fitting in such a dingy environment as it was a vibrant purple in colour. Wait ... it can't be! Is that the infamous chalk-white make-up on his face, outlining his mouth which has ... scars? JOKER! How the hell did he get out? He's bad news, I mean really bad news. The guards that normally patrol my cell keep telling each other about all the ... frankly disgusting ... crimes he does. This is bad! This is really bad!


	7. Chapter 7: Welcome to the Madhouse girls

Chapter 7:

The Joker ran forward and started dancing around in psychotic glee. I gasped quietly as I noticed the bodies of two men; one questioner and one guard. They were breathing, just knocked out. The joker said something that I couldn't quite make out before laughing hysterically and prancing out past what was supposed to be one of those blue fences that hurt a lot on contact. Impossible! Those doors are supposed to repel him. Someone's in the data base, that's the only explanation, and they're helping him. I don't see why though; anyone who wears that colour scheme is most certainty a freak. Oh well, at least I know what Catwoman said about my fascination with fashion was correct. "Ladies and maniacs, I apologise for this interruption to your regular entertainment. Up until a few seconds ago, I was going to kill everyone in the room and then watch cartoons but then ... well ... you know how I do love a captive audience!" I shivered as the words made me feel just sheer ... what is that word? Scared word. Frightening word. Terrifying word. What is it? Um ... apprehension? No, ... fear! That's it, fear. Make that number ... I've lost track. Let's have this as number ten on my list of remembered words then?

The Batman had, by this point, burst through one of the glass viewing stations and made shards of glass shower everywhere on the floor below. The inmates bluey gate thingy had also gone down and the idiots, too stupid to live in my opinion, were now attacking the dark knight like rabid dogs. They were, of course, beaten half to death by the Bat. He looked like a tall, dark and brooding type. Strong yet silent, that sort of type you know? He's a weird one too, I mean why would a grown man dress up as a Bat? It sounds a little crazy to me ... ah irony! He's fighting to take down someone just as crazy - if not more so - then him. I would giggle but it's just not the time right now you know?

"I'm just warming you up, Bats! Fresh from Blackgate Correctional Facility, with a combined sentence of 752 years. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! It's round 2!" yet another round of inmates were released from their cells as the Bat started working them over. Selena started to pull at my foot and whisper in a voice that I knew was a weak cover over her fear, that we had to go now. I heard her grumbling as she started to shift her body enough so that she could turn around a little. It was so cramped that it took a few moments or so, meaning I got to hear the last bit of the Joker's 'pleasant' escape speech. "Sorry, Bats! Gotta run, I've got places to go, people to slay!" I bit my lip to keep from crying out in fear, this man is psycho! Completely do-lally psycho! And we're now stuck here in this prison with him. Crap, utter crap.

We turned and headed out of that area of the vents before crawling towards a new location. We crawled for about ten minutes before Selena spoke. "We need to get out, and quickly. I ... I know Joker! He's not a friend of either of ours and if he finds us then ... you don't want to know! The next grate we pass that leads into a room should be good. The vents are not a good thing to be in around Joker; especially with his Joker Happy Gas. We'll make it on foot, get outside and then cross the river somehow. I don't usually leap towards water but if Joker's the alternative then fling me in!" I nodded and shared her fear privately. Gas is hard to evade, especially in confined places like vents that would be optional places for it to be placed. I've just met Joker and already I'm running for my life. God knows what Selena is thinking right now; knowing him a lot longer then I have. We'll have to either swim or capture a sea vessel that will provide safe passage.

I heard a murmur from the tanoy that I couldn't make out entirely but I got the jist that Joker is the leading master of Asylum right now. Shit! "Selena? Who's currently here in the Asylum?" I asked after a thought occurred to me that we're stuck. In a madhouse. With a bunch of hardened villains. And I don't even know which!

"The Joker obviously is here. I talked to - ok swore at - Riddler two days ago in the Narrows, in the city's slum area. Zsasz is here too and probably slaughtering some innocent doctor right now. Scarecrow is here; which is a problem as I stole a few ... well a lot of money off him about a few weeks ago so he's pissed at me again. Killer Croc is hiding in the sewers yet again. Poison Ivy is in the bowels of the Penitentiary but she's a friend so isn't as much a problem. Clayface is here so watch your step. Scarface is present and currently boxed up in the Main house. But Mr. Freeze is chilling out in the City alongside Penguin. Harley Quinn is somewhere in the city; moping over the capture of Joker though I think she's going to be very pleased with his escape. Bane's out somewhere as well but it's all been quiet on that end. Two-Face is thankfully out of the picture as he's in the city along with Calendar Man. That's all I think!" She stated in an almost familiar tone like this was nothing new in her life to be so close to so many killers. I can't imagine living like that; so close to danger and death. How does she live with it?

"Isn't Harley Quinn that sidekick of Joker's? Could she be responsible for him escaping? Particularly considering her history." I had been told of the Harley Quinn from watching TV and listening to the gossip of the guards who patrolled near my cell. She's supposedly the lover of Joker, who used to be a Questioner here at Arkham Asylum so I suppose she knows this place like she knows herself. She's psychotic enough to help the Joker anyway.

"It's good that a few of your memories are returning Hailey, and yes I think that it is possible that Quinn is helping Joker but right now we don't have the proof to support that theory. Now I think I see a light ahead, stick with me kid and don't leave my sight!" she scrambled forward and I stuck behind her as ordered. She breathed out gently before taking a peek inside the grate to analyse the room for danger. Seeing none; she kicked at the grate twice, knocking it loose before pulling it to one side. She climbed out and stretched before becoming me to join her. I looked at the room and quickly deduced that this was an office of some kind for one of the Questioners. It looked very luxurious, with padded chairs and heavy drapes that made the room feel comfortable yet boring. Selena went towards the desk and swiped one of the glasses off it. She threw the half-consumed contents into a nearby plant pot before using it to listen outside for trouble. My stomach growled inside me as I noticed an untouched cake still in its wrapper.

"You want to go halfs on the cake?" I asked her quietly so she wouldn't become to angry with me for interrupting her task with such a childish question. She looked back at me, smiled softly and shook her head before returning to her job. I near choked it down in excitement, since it was so different to the usual foods I get here. I have had cake before, but only a very small one as a luxury while I was still trying to gain a few pounds. We don't eat the most flavoursome of foods here, rather it's pretty bland and boring. This cake was rich and well made, with fruit inside of it - not bananas - that I didn't recognise. I only wished I had more of it.

"Hailey, there's about three inmates outside in the corridor. They're distracted at the moment so we would normally be able to take them but one of them has a gun so it's too risky to take them head on. I'll use the vent to creep into the corridor and pick them off but for now I need you to find a place to hide and stay there till I come back, ok? Stay here, stay quiet and stay alive kid!" She pounced back into the venting system and I admit that I felt a little left out but what could I do? I'm not the most powerful of people here or the smartest; in fact I'm quite weak so I would just get in the way. Selena can handle herself if she's what the media depict her to be.

I looked around to find a hiding spot as Selena said I should. Under the desk is an obvious choice but if the guards get in here then that's the first place they would look. I went to the filing cupboards and found that if I dragged them into specific locations then there was a small, unnoticeable gap behind them that I could hide in. I did so quickly, and stayed absolutely still just in case my raised heart beat gave me away.

Time ticked by agonizingly slow before I heard the creak of the door and incoming footsteps. My breath caught as I struggled to keep from shaking. Is it Selena? Or an enemy? The former is more likely. I never should have escaped! I never would have ended up in this place had I not of taken the stupid option of escaping. I bit my lip and tried to keep myself still.

"Hailey? You can come out now; they're all knocked out!" The reassuring voice of Selena echoed in the room and I breathed out loudly in relief. I wiggled my way out of my hiding place and saw her standing in the doorway, slightly out of breath. She nodded as she caught sight of me in confirmation that I was ok before signalling me to follow her. I did so without comment but I made sure that I had the knife firmly in my hand just in case. I wouldn't kill anyone but I can cause a few injuries that would hold them up.

"Warning! Security breach in Level B3!" The tanoy played in urgency as we dropped out walking pace in favour of running through the halls with weapons primed on any threats. I passed a sign that said we were at level B5, two levels below B3, so I was keen on getting out of here before the Joker turned up with a mob of his henchmen as backup.

"We're on level B5, Selena, we need to find an elevator!" I called from behind as I passed a rather fetching looking picture of the warden himself. I suppose pictures aren't very life like after all, since he does not look like that in the slightest. She quickened her pace and though I did keep up with her, I admit I was very tired in the attempt. Perhaps I'm just not used to long distance running like this from being cooped up in that tiny room of mine. Yes, that must be the reason. "Warning! Security breach in Level B2!" yet again the tanoy blared along with warnings on levels B8, 1, 6 and 4 as we passed a sign saying that the elevators were around the next turn. My legs ached and my breath was heavy as I struggled to keep pace with her but as we turned I saw that there was another thing to trouble about; specifically a group of henchmen numbering around eight in number. Two were armed with shields, one had a gun and the rest had pieces of steel pipes to bludgeon someone with. Selena grabbed her whip from her belt and used it to knock over the one with the gun while I used my current forward momentum to hand-spring myself towards two other goons and knock them out with a definite double punch to their heads that really did hurt my hand. I then hastily ducked to avoid a pipe that one of the men had thrown at me. Really! How rude!

"Warning! Security breach in Level B5!" You don't say! I deflected a crudely jabbed piece of pipe with the blade of my dagger before using my other hand to jab in sequence areas that quickly made the inmate go numb and falls over. Three down from me and four from Selena. That makes seven; one more to go. unfortunately, this one refused to go down easily like his companions and had a riot shield that deflected any attack that we both tried to make. Selena, seeing this, preformed perhaps one of the most extraordinary yet so simple techniques to disarm the man. She waited till the man thrusted out with his riot shield before pouncing up and landing delicately on the rim of the shield with, what I must say, surprising grace. However, this utterly stunning piece of acrobatics was quickly ended by the fact that she decided to claw the man and nearly kill him. A few inches to the left, and he would of bled out instantly.

"What do you think you're doing! You could of killed him!" I shouted at her in a rage that I had not experienced before. It was a confusing feeling, anger, and it made me ... almost feel like there was nothing else between me and hurting the thing that had made me so furious. But I had restraint. I can't kill her. She knows things about me, things I don't know or remember yet. I need that Intel. Without it, I'm flying blind. Also she has impressive skills with that whip of hers and good fighting prowess. She's currently useful but not for long. I can't let myself be distracted by her, to be drawn in to her charms. It's me against the world now, and I can't side with no one except myself. Any other course of action will eventually make me weak. That weakness in result would cost me dearly later on. I must put away personal preference. This woman may say that she's my friend, and at times I may actually believe her but she's a killer - or an almost killer - and I can't forget that. She'd probably turn on me instantly to save her own skin ... probably.

"Nice to see you're returning to your old self. Relax, I know what I'm doing kid! Now come on; we've got an elevator to catch!" her voice was arrogant. Don't fall for her tricks Hailey, if that is my name, she'll kill you instantly else. I stepped into the elevator cautiously, and found it to be very simple in design. Two televisions were fixed into the opposite sides of the cage we were supposed to stand in but they only showed little messages from the old warden telling us to 'obey the rules' and 'keep in line'. Very happy guy, the warden. The elevator looked safe enough, so Selena punched in the level we needed and we were off climbing levels. In a metal cage. Over a abyss. Ok, now I'm thinking this isn't a good idea. If who ever let Joker through the security gates and let his goons out of their cells figures out that we're escaping, we'll be in a lot of trouble.


	8. Chapter 8: The Joker and the Tramp

Chapter 8:

Then, almost as if fate was laughing at me, the elevator's televisions stopped playing the relay loops of the warden's ugly face and switched to the face of a blonde woman in a really ... immodest outfit and the elevator halted. The woman was about 5 feet and 7 inches tall, reasonably small, and about 140 lbs, not very heavy. She was built like a gymnast, and very pretty with her deep blue eyes and platinum blonde hair. The outfit she wore wasn't exactly the most proper looking costume, with a colour scheme of red, white and purple. It was made up of a cross between a nurses' uniform and a multicoloured leather outfit. First, her hair was pulled into two pigtails with red hairbands while a small, white cap lay fixed on her head with what I spotted to be two pins holding it down. Her face was covered in white face paint, which accented the a purple/black painted mask and her rouged lips. The main outfit consisted of a white blouse and a red corset with two purple bucklings crossing across the waist. A fake piece of purple was sowed into the corset so the ribbon corset contrasted even more bizarrely against it. Next came a white, pleated mini-skirt and a black belt that hugged her legs brilliantly. The bra was half purple on the left and half red on the left. Her legs were covered by fish net stockings and platform shoes that were like the bra with one shoe being purple and the other being red while her arms were covered with armbands and finger gloves that were similarly coloured by alternating on both sides. The look was finished off with a black choker around her neck and two bracelets on both hands like the choker in colour and design.

Harley Quinn aka the Joker's slut.

"Can you hear me? Is this thing on? Oh. Hiya, B-man! Harley Quinn here. How do you like my new uniform? Pretty hot, huh? Oh, I got something to show you. One second, B-man!" The whore skipped out of frame as I looked alarmed at Selena who was already at work prying off the top of the elevator's emergency exit on the roof of the cage.

"Ta da!" The tramp shoved a tied up warden towards the camera on a mobile office chair and boy was he not getting out of her clutches. The warden had a gag in his mouth to stop him from what I predict would be a whole load of insults at the slag. I keep insulting her, but I can't help it. What sort of person would get involved with a psychotic mass murderer who she's supposed to treat? It's sick, just sick!

"I'm now subbing for the old man. Old sharpie's never been happier! I case ya ain't figured it out, today's the Joker's big homecoming and you're the guest of honour!" The skank lay her leg over the warden's leg and bent his head so it was near touching her breasts. Talk about being a total whore! Seriously, if she's like this with a complete stranger, I don't even want to think about what she does with the Joker. Ew! However the close shot of the warden allowed me a look at the identification card on her uniform. I know that Clayface is locked up in the Asylum somewhere, but I could rationalise that this man was the real warden. That is definitely the warden's identification card, and I suppose that the tart also stole his cane as well as the one in her hand looks very familiar. Ok, the real warden is held hostage by a crazy psychopath. Great, just what I needed. Now Batman will go after her instead and not pursue me while I escape. Always look for a silver lining in a storm, since they're always worth while, that's an old saying that I've seen on a few vaguely inspiring posters littered on the walls of the hallways we just passed. Or in english, look on the bright side.

The screen flashed over to a shot of the somewhat dirty and ill-lit face of the infamous dark knight. Boy, he needs some sleep! "You have one chance to surrender, Quinn!" Oh, Batman, don't you ever lighten up? No? Well maybe the Joker will solve that little problem while I get the hell out of here.

The screen flashed back to the Joker's trick as she responded in a somewhat arrogant manner that really made me want to laugh. I mean come on, you're going against Batman! Crack a few puns like the rest of these nut jobs, or this shows going to flop just like you! "Tempting Bats but no dice. Now the inmates are running the asylum. Well, technically they're Joker's goons shipped in from Blackgate, but you get the idea. Bye, bye for now!" The harlot broke the screen with the warden's stick - maybe he was trying to compensate for something else - and the screen went dead.

"Come on! We're on Level A2, so we just have to climb one more level for freedom!" Selena flipped upwards and through the emergency exit as she said this. I followed her and found myself in a very filthy elevator shaft. Doesn't anyone ever clean in this place? I looked towards Selena who was by now halfway up an emergency ladder. "Come on dummy! Or do you want Joker to come visiting?" Oh, she is really getting on my nerves. When we get to the mainland, I've got to start coming up with a plan. Obviously she has it in her head that I'll come back with her, but I'm not a puppy on a lead. First I need to remember a hideout, somewhere safe to rest and hide while she tries to find her little pet. Second, I need information on Selena and me. I could probably sneak into city hall and get some from our files, or trade something for information from someone in the thieving circles. Thirdly, I'll need cash and a get away car. I'm getting the hell out of Gotham, it's too risky to stay. I'll go elsewhere, to a small town maybe and live the rest of my life not in bizarre costumes trying to stay ahead of psychopaths who are trying to kill me. I'll live in a small house, with a garden and maybe even a few security alarms just in case. I don't trust this woman any more she doesn't answer my questions and she's hiding something. How can I trust the information she's already given me? It all could be lies.

"Thinking about splitting when we get to the mainland?" Selena's voice nearly made me lose my footing as she pulled open the door of level A1 and went in. How did she know what I was planning? I quickly tried to feign a look of innocence but she saw straight through me. "I only asked because that is what you would normally do. You see, I know you far more then you think I do! You're thinking about getting away from me and running away out of Gotham as soon as we make it out of here. You're thinking that because I'm not answering some of your questions, that I'm not to be trusted while a little voice in your head is telling you to trust me. Am I right?" Damn it, she knows! The most likely scenario at this stage for her to use is to kill me, since even deception on paper is still deception. I could get a few of my jabs on her but its more likely she would know my fighting style pretty well and would counter it. Heck, she's far too strong an opponent to even try and go against. I'm stuck, S-T-U-C-K, stuck! I pulled myself up into the corridor from the ladder and found the room empty apart from a few bodies of some unfortunate guards who looked like they were taken down by a large party of inmates.

"So what are you now planning? A little fighting match against little old me? I'm flattered but I'm sure even in your slightly unhinged state; you know I could beat you quite easily. So then what? All I can see is checkmate!" what do I do? What do I do? Wait ... what would I not do? That will throw her off my scent. I need to stop acting like I normally would and start acting right out of character. Maybe ... no, it's useless. She'll see straight through it again. She's right, it's checkmate for me.

"Your name is Hailey, your middle name is Alice and I don't know your last name. Your sixteen years old. Your favourite book is 'Alice in Wonderland' by Lewis Carol, which you asked me to read to you about a thousand times. Your favourite character in it is the Queen of Hearts, hence this little change in names. Your favourite food is Creme Bule. Your measurements from the last time I saw you are 5 foot two inches in height and 113 lbs in weight. Your favourite colour is red. Do I need to go on?" how ... how does she know all that? Maybe she does know me, maybe I was wrong? No! I ... I can't ... I won't ... I wouldn't be wrong.

"My name is Selena and my last name is Kyle. I am twenty-one years old. My favourite book is 'great expectations' by Charles Dickens. My favourite character in it is Estella, who is both rich and willing to play cat and mouse with a boy's heart. My favourite food is tuna. My measurements are 5 foot 7 inches in height and 133 lbs in weight. My favourite colour is black. Is that enough information for you? But, that won't fully convince you ... that I know very well. It falls to reason then that I should then tell you what I've been hiding from you. Well, here it is; I only found you on my doorstep about seven years ago. I took you in, and it became clear to me that whoever you knew before that had trained you in every skill needed in order to be a villain. You knew how to pickpocket, crack safes, make elaborate traps and even how to disable a person without drawing a single drop of blood. The odd thing about it is that you claimed you didn't remember any part of your life before that night and that you didn't know who trained you. You were a born villain, Hailey, so I took you in and trained you up to become my replacement just in case I died. Then a year ago; you decided to take in a stray. A young girl off the street named Christiana, do you recall her?" I just stared at her in shock. This doesn't make sense, this can't make sense. I'm not a villain, I'm not! I'm not evil, I promise, I'm not a killer!

"Well, on the night of your grand disappearance, you decided to train her to become your sidekick but first you needed to test her. So you asked her to do a simple heist, just a low security jewellery store that wasn't very important. Well, something must of gone wrong and the police arrived. I don't know what happened next but after the showdown; it ended with Christiana getting shot through the chest twice causing her slow and agonising death. To say you were angry was an understatement of the year. After that you took it on yourself to avenge her, leading to your chain of kills that led to your incarnation here in this hell hole or at least that's what the media says!" I don't remember a Christiana, but my heart tells me that she's telling the truth. But I'm ... I'm not a killer. Wait ... perhaps someone was controlling me or pretending to be me. There's plenty of people in this asylum who'd be able to pull that off. I'm not a monster, a freak or a murderer. I'm innocent, just innocent of someone else's mind game. That's all, just an innocent. Nothing more ... just a victim. "Hailey, I know you would never kill and I promise that as soon as we get out of here I'll slice and dice the animal who framed you for their dirty work. I promise you that. After all, I'll always be here to protect you Hailey. Its my job! Now let's get out of here and get into Gotham. I don't know about you but I could use a good Italian pizza right now with extra sardines!" She giggled in a voice that sounded almost natural to her. I looked at her and smiled before letting go of the issue. For now, anyway.

We headed down another corridor before Selena finally spoke. "Now that you trust me, I need you to listen to me. If I get caught or if ... if I die, then try and contact Batman!" I tried to protest, I mean Batman? The Batman? He'd probably punch my lights out before I get a word in. But now that I trust her, I need to follow her instructions. "It's ok, Bats and me go way back. He'd look after you if I can't as a favour, and you'll be safe under his wing. Anyway, he couldn't resist trying to protect a damsel in distress if I know him like I think I do. Just take this and show it to him, then he'll know your a friend!" she passed me a folded up note that I placed in my left boot for storage as we stopped near a corner. Selena took a look around the next bend and I caught me breath a little. I'm a little out of shape, so would you be if you were cooped up in a little cell for about a month. Cooped, that's a funny word. Very funny ...

"What are you waiting for? I'm so close you can almost taste me!" The Joker's smarmy voice burrowed in my ear. Batman's close, probably on this very level. Therefore, so is Joker if you could smell him. Selena walked onward, and I finally got to see why she was cautious. A load of men, both inmate and guard, were littered around in a style that suggested that there was a battle here. Lime green spray paint was on the wall in the style of a slightly disturbing smile and on the floor as little luminous arrows. I followed the arrows with my eyes till I came to a door that looked locked.

"We'll have to use the vents again. Great! Did I ever tell you that being stuck in a vent is not how I would normally spend a day? Normally it's just spent robbing old, dusty museums or having a cat-nap." Very funny, Selena. Then I noticed something, the grate! It had been pulled off. Not good.

"Selena, the grates off! Someone's been here!" I hissed at her as she immediately went to investigate. She examined the grate carefully before replying.

"Batman, I'm sure of it. He always pulls off the grate instead of loosening the bolts. So, bats has been through here? That's ... entertaining!" she pounced into the vent without a care in the world. She must really have a good connection to Batman to think that he wouldn't booby trap the vent just in case. I suppose she thinks that it's not his style, maybe it isn't, but shouldn't she just check just in case? However, it wasn't my place to ask this. I had just nearly accused her of trying to deceive me, so I don't think criticism is the best route to regain her trust in my obedience. I crawled through the vent, trying not to think about what was on the floor, before light shimmered through a vent ahead. Selena got close to the vent before silently prying it off and putting it on the ground below with as little noise as possible. The room was large transport area, dirty as always, with two noticeable things that looked out of the ordinary.

One was a weird looking thing of some kind that I suspect is a throwing type of weapon. It was in the shape of a bat, with some alien looking gizmos attached to it. Black too. Then the second was the ugly body of what might be a mixture between a rotting corpse and a maggot. It wasn't pretty, to say the least. The guy looked unconscious, thankfully, with a slight indent to his head indicating a blow to the head. Both possibly the work of the dark knight. "Batman's been here, recently. Look, over there, his Batarang! There was a battle, Batman won. Wait ... Hailey get down quick!" her warning came just in time as a bullet headed towards the area where my head had just been had I not ducked. "No! Don't! We're not your enemy!" Selena yelled, ticked off, before our attacker replied.

"So what are you?" A guard. Alone possibly. And terrified out of his mind. Perfect, nice and maluable.

"Evacuees! I'm trying to get the girl out, Joker tried to take her for some experiment of sorts, can't you just open the shaft so we can find somewhere to hide. I promise we won't do anything funny, we just want to find somewhere safe!" Selena was lying through her polished teeth. Like the Joker would bother with someone like me!

"The Joker? He's just done down that very shaft, so it'll do you no good to go down to Extreme Isolation anyway. I'd like to help you ladies, since I know for a fact that that girl you're protecting is an inmate here and that she is a little simple at times so needs all the help she can get, but there's nothing I can do!" Selena nodded before looking at me with a stare that told me to act simple and go along with it. It was no problem. I just looked around with unfocused eyes before Selena talked. "An officer here, Boles, betrayed us. He's kidnapped the commissioner and teamed up with Harley Quinn. Batman went to save him. I know you're Catwoman, and I'm aware of the relationship you have with him, so if you want to do something useful then go and help him. I won't go after you, I know you're on our side for now, but that's the best advice you'd get for now!" Selena nodded before grabbing my hand and heading for the door. We started to run through several corridors bearing clues and hints that Batman made his way down here very recently.


	9. Chapter 9: Cat's and Bats

Chapter 9:

"I bet you're wondering how I did it. Was it a clue the great detective missed? Oh, me and Frankie go way back. I got him out of a spot of ... bother a few years ago. So, when I need security codes or an old man to be clubbed to the ground, I know just the man to ask!" A Joker on the television is just as creepy as one in real life. Batman is very close now! He's almost within shouting distance. We kept running, going through several corridors till we heard the suspicious sound of a deep voice talking to no one in particular.

"Exactly!" the conversation ended and I swore that I saw Selena's eyes light up in almost petty joy. She stopped her running pace and slowed to a more swaggering walk like before. Oh God, so that's her relationship to Batman. It's Harley Quinn all over again, except at least Harley was more funnier.

"Hiya B-man!" Her voice changed to a more sultry tone identical to the whore Harley Quinn's as the Batman comically whipped around ready to clobber her. He looked at her for a second before rolling his eyes and turning away to examine something on the floor. "You know, I never pictured you for a guy who doesn't even say the niceties like 'Hello' or 'Scram'! Your mother would die of shame if she saw you right now!" Oh, snap! I looked at what the Batman was examining, some dropped container of sorts for some weird looking liquid. Why was he interested in that? What did it do? Try and rob the Gotham bank? Oh, I'm golden, I really am.

"Catwoman? Look, I don't have the time to arrest you right now!" His voice was bored. Oh, this is so a one sided relationship going on here. Just like Harley Quinn, how nice! Joker and Batman share more in common then they care to say. "Oracle, I've got a trail!" It sounded from here like he was listening to something on a communicator of sorts, maybe a technical advisor or something. Either that or he's nuts. "Who's this?" He said offhand as he stopped putting his hand on his ear in order to listen in on the mysterious advisor in the communicator. He looked at me, and instantly I felt coy over how idiotic I look. Seriously, this outfit may be cool but it's also weird. The whole look just reeks of an insane mind. Well I suppose it's not as bad as the flamboyant orange prison suit I was previously wearing.

"Queen of Hearts, my sidekick since you got the boy wonder!" she answered with a defensive tone about her. Go, Selena! Go and Kick this guy's ass. He's really annoying me and I think you'll be the best girl for the job of giving him a pounding. "Anyway, I was going to ask what where you doing and how we could help?" We were what now? What happened to the plan of getting out of here ... wait! Is she deliberately trying to get on Batman's good graces in order to escape when he gets out of the building and not be belted with his mighty fists of fury? That's smart, and kind of risky Selena!

"Frank Bole was impartial to bourbon, it'll give me a trail to find him and the commissioner. You coming?" Good plan, it's a little fishy - I love that word now - though how he has a built-in detector for alcohol. It's not exactly the first thing I would have thought of, but I guess it's paying off now. Selena nodded and we followed Batman as he ran down a few corridors. This better be worth my time Selena!


	10. Chapter 10: Elevator falling down

Chapter 10:

We moved into the Secure transit area, still playing catch the snitch with Frank, when a voice broke our awkward silence. "Stupid ... unreliable ... how did Joker get free?" a guard moaned before Batman quieted him down with a "Be quiet!" and a raised hand. What's up, Bats? Senses picking up something?

"What's going on?" that's what I want to know! Fortunately, an explanation arrived the in form of the whore, Harley Quinn, who landed unfortunately unharmed on the top of an elevator. Gee, what does she want?

"Uh, uh, uh, uh B-man! Mr J doesn't want you following us just yet! Especially with tag alongs like that!" Quinn posed herself on the bar in a pose that just screamed 'slut' before taking what I thought to be a little chunk of pipe out of her pocket. She pressed down on the top and an explosion shocked my ears as I instinctively pulled Selena back and towards the floor. My instincts were right as an elevator landed where we just were. Batman had also pulled the guard away to safety, so he too was ok. I smoothed off my clothes before hissing at the bitch. unfortunately she had been rocketed up a few floors, but I hoped that she would at least get a few bruises from the ride or at least a scratch. What can I say, I'm sadistic.

"Ow, what the hell happened?" A crazy bitch just tried to drop an elevator on your sorry ass, that's what happened idiot. I flipped myself upright before helping Selena to her feet. She gave me a look of thanks before looking with venom in her eyes at the place where Harley Quinn had been. No love is lost between these two are there. I wonder if we'll get a cat fight from all this? If we do, then I wouldn't mind taking out that bitches' eyes in the process.

"How did ya like that, B-man? No way you're following us now. You're trapped down there 'til me and Mr J are ready for ya!" Harley's voice on a Tanoy is very irritating, I mean really IRRITATING! More so then the usual announcements anyway.

And the award for the person who's going to get clobbered next is ... you've guessed it! That bitch! Let's give her a big hand. To the face!

"I take it this is Joker's doing?" The guard lifted himself into a chair and looked at Batman for answers. Why does everyone look at Batman for answers? He's not God ... is he? Oh, I'm really funny; I really am. I know about God of course from a ridiculous bible nut-case who was imprisoned near my cell. He would never shut up! Seriously, he wouldn't! It got on my nerves. I was actually glad when one of the guards beat him to a bloody stain in the end. At least he wouldn't be interrupting my sleep any-more.

"Who else?" Nice answer, Batman, good and sharp. Just how I like it.

"I told 'em. He's a monster. They should fry him!" wow, I guess this guy supports the death penalty. That's ... harsh!

"Calm down! I'll stop him!" and stop getting so emotional, like you can give him pointers on that. Oh, wait you can. Anyway, Batman turned to us and said "The elevators out, we'll have to do this the old-fashioned way!" Brilliant, just bloody brilliant. You see, it's alright for those two! They have grapples and whips to help them, me? A pair of guns, two knives and one computer thingy. Really useful!

"You have any rope?" I asked stupidly but to my surprise, Batman reached into his belt and brought out a little device like a gun. I was about to turn it down when Batman took his, somewhat, larger modal out and shot it at a really high ledge out of reach. Ah, a grappler! Awesome and stylish, I like it!

"Robin always looses his!" was his explanation, slightly shouted down from the ledge. Robin ... I don't know who that is either but I suppose I should be thankful. The grappler was smaller than Batman's and red in colour while his was a standard black. I aimed like Batman and was pulled very quickly towards the ledge before landing neatly. I want this thing! I enjoyed zipping through the air, and gradually getting higher and higher up the shaft. Seriously, everyone should have one of these things! They are ... wow!


	11. Chapter 11: Stunning the enemy is fun

Chapter 11:

"Hey, Bats! I know you can hear me, I've got a little something for you to listen to. Harley and Frank are nearly out of the building with the old man. How are they going to get past all those guards? Let's have a listen, shall we?" The ugly voice of Joker cut into my joyful soaring across the various ledges scattered around the shaft and nearly made me miscalculate a shot at a pipe that would have released who knows what chemical on me. I really hate that man ... animal ... thing?

"Hey! Frank. Where you been?" This cannot be good.

"Joker's got more men on the way. They're coming around the front of the asylum. Gotta stop them getting in! Quick! Get over there!" One word for you Boles, Die! I know it's negative but it's very true. What type of dirt sells out his peers to a psychopathic clown who'd pat you on the back one moment and slit your throat the next? Maybe the other way around at times for some of the more weirder ones.

"Dammit! C'mon, everyone! Cover the main entrance!" idiot, don't you see what he's doing? "How many are there, Boles? Wait, hang on, how the hell do you know what ..." too late! The sound of gunfire clouded the recording before the dying cries of the man's peers played horrifically as they realise their mistake. Bad Boles, go and burn in hell! Bad boy!

"You're some piece of work, Frankie. A girl could fall for someone like you!" crap, the whore! I guess Boles is covering her escape with the commissioner. Just when I thought he couldn't get even lower in the food chain, he goes into negative numbers. How proud your parents must be of you Frankie, how very proud.

"Stop flirting with the hired help, Harley!" Whore! Just plain whore! I can't stand her yammering. Sweetie this and puddin' that, how does Joker stand her? Probably by being the complete psycho we all know he is.

"Don't worry, sweetie. You know I only have eyes for you!" like a bitch, she's loyal to her master. Go figure!

"Did you hear that, Bats? Sounds like Frankie is working out just fine! Another valuable employee for the organization!" What organization? The order of morons-about-to-get-their-asses-kicked-by-a-very-p issed-off-amnesiac? What! They asked for it.

"Alert! Alert! We are currently experiencing a category Red Alpha security alert. This is not a drill. Report to your section commander!" what section commander? Everyone's either dead or dying! Stupid tanoy, always annoying me. "Warning! All patients should remain still and place their hands upon their heads. Failure to comply could result in action that could lead to injury or loss of life!" There you go again with your incredibly annoying messages and warnings. I wouldn't 'place' my 'hands' on my head! Whatever, I'm getting out of here bitch. "Warning! Multiple security breaches on level A6!" I know, I know! Everything going down the toilet, I get it already!

I started to feel a little claustrophobic after a while of grappling and shimmying across precarious edges. I need out of this place! Soon! Fortunately my feelings of the building swallowing me whole were interrupted by a gang of about six inmates that looked like they hadn't had a batb in years. Why doesn't anyone wash or clean anything in this place? Fire the cleaners, that's what I say, just not out of a cannon like I'm sure Joker would. I took on two but I had the sense not to use my little 'mumbo jumbo kung fu' in front of Batman to avoid too many uncomfortable questions. I simply kicked them in their groins and hit them on the head to knock them out. Simple, quick and down right dirty. Perfect really for any situation.

The other two quickly took their goons down but I must say Batman's technique of just giving hard punches and kicks appealed to me. He's not a pansy. Good, he'd need it later on for Joker. Batman got a call on his little communicator and I managed to whisper to Selena that I get first crack at Quinn for nearly dropping an elevator on me. "Sure, just leave me something to beat to a pulp would you? I've got a lot of grudges against her, especially after that time she tried to cut me up to make cat food ... long story!" I bet it is! Oh well, it's a death packed with irony I suppose. unfortunately, all the doors were locked so it came to reason to use the vents. Yet again. Seriously, they need some security in those vents. Anyone could get out using them. Batman went first, then Selena and finally I took up the rear. Ew, Cobwebs! I whipped them away with increasing annoyance. I. Hate. Vents.

A dying scream alerted me to a danger ahead as we stopped in front of a grate. "Please, I've got a kid! You don't have to ...!" Inmates vs Guards. Turns out, inmates win. Somehow, I'm not in the mood for celebrating. How cruel is life that we take fathers and mothers away from their kids and loved ones?

"You're right, I don't have to! I just want to! Ok, boss says no one gets past. Anything moves; shoot it! You got it! Anyone coming this way is dead!" Great, more trigger happy guards. What next, armed tanks? Hopefully not but I wouldn't put it past the Joker. He'd probably draw a smiley face on it too. Batman silently kicked the grate to loosen it before pushing it to one side. Stealth, that's the word now boys and girls.

"Four hostiles, all armed, three are around the corner and the other is up high! I'll take them, stay here and stay quiet!" Batman whispered quietly to us. Selena rolled her eyes as Batman grappled his way out of sight. I shifted slightly, before addressing the issue in my mind.

"He's a little controlling, isn't he?" I don't know how it works around here but it's a valid point that he does seem to think that we can't do anything without him. I mean, I know I'm a bit of tag along at times and that's because I don't know half the time what to do as I'm basically a baby trying to walk. I need help and it's perfectly fine that I rely on people to get that help. However, why in the world does Selena let herself be controlled by him? She's obviously a pretty talented fighter, holding her own against Batman, but she also gives off a vibe of independence that tells me she's smart enough to avoid trouble and plan around it. So if she's smart, independent and a talented fighter; why does she let Batman call the shots? Is she less powerful then I think? I don't understand.

"You don't know the half of it! Bats is not what I call the most ... talkative of guys but he's a good boy most of the time. He's saved my ass more times then I could count so I put up with it. Talking about the Bats, he's taking way too long. You stay here, I'll go and see what's up!" right, that answers a lot of questions. She's obviously attracted to the whole mysterious aura of Batman, women like mystery apparently, and so doesn't want to make him angry by asking him if she can take charge. She also feels indebted to the Batman, so will not hesitate to follow his orders as she trusts his expertise and the fact that he has protected her before. These two things make her want to back down. It seems that Selena indeed is not as powerful as she says she is. Interesting.

"Catwoman? Hey, the boss says no one gets through. That includes your cowardly ass so beat it! Go and play with a ball of string or whatever you do! Bitch!" A voice from around the corner exclaimed in a way that just made me grimace at its bad taste. The voice's owner is either the most oblivious creature I've ever had the misfortune to be near or he's just a plain jackass. Who knows? He might be both since it is in not smart to mess with Selena, my limited time with her has proved that much.

"Hey! I'm a pretty, little kitty but I ain't no-" the wallop of a punch fortunately overridded the end of her speech, and the little thump of a body hitting the floor told me that she was certainly not impressed by his confident words. Shouldn't of pissed her off, you really shouldn't have. I crawled slightly over to the side where the body of a guard lay where he fell. I felt his neck to see if he was alive or not, the latter being the result. I withdrew my hand and returned to a poised crouch before sneaking forward to get a look around the corner. Bat-Boy and Pretty, little kitty were silently taking out two inmates with guns and the third was still oblivious to them. Good. I don't want bullet holes in the bodies of the two people who have sufficient cause to protect me.

However, I do need to prove myself to the bat before he looses said cause. So logically, I should take out the third man. I won't kill him. I am not a killer. Instead I aim to knock him out or render him immobile. To do that, I need to hit him hard with something. I looked at the environment around me and then at the dead guard. Are those stun grenades I see? Light bulb! Idea formed, action needed. I crept over to the guard and grabbed the grenade, while trying not to look at him too much. The smell of death attacked my nose viciously, and I really didn't like it.

I took out the pin and threw it at the inmate, before shielding my eyes so the blast didn't affect me. The inmate however wasn't so lucky, and became very disoriented and confused, which in turn allowed me to walk straight up to him and punch him so hard that he collapsed in a unconscious heap. I flexed my fingers, finding that bare knuckle fighting is not kind on the hand nor painless, before noticing the annoyed looks glared at me by Selena and the Batman as they picked themselves off the floor. "What?" I asked, not particularly caring about their answer.

"You could have warned me Hailey!" Selena dusted off her shoulders dramatically before walking past me with some definite attitude in her walk. Yes, I could have warned you but then the inmate would have been warned as well, defeating the reason why I had used the stun grenade. A whistling sound went over me as a Batarang flew into the body of an inmate coming towards us, gun at the ready. Selena took out her aggression on the poor guy by taking a vicious swipe at his face to knock him out. Do I pity these guys for having to deal with our fists of fury? Nope, not in the slightest.

We walked up the stairs to see the gruesome face of Mr. Smiles plastered on the tv. I don't need to be a psychologist to know a complete narcissist when I see one. "Oh, look who it is! Are your pointy ears burning? I suppose I'd better warn my boys you're on the way ... hey, maybe I won't ... it'll be a nice surprise " Ok, enough of the clown. Seriously, it's a boring gimmick and his voice is so not working for me so lets just knock him out and be on our merry way? Perhaps with a harder tap then needed? With a rock instead of a fist? It's the least he deserves.

But first it's time to go through more slime covered, spider infected vents that could become full of joker toxin at any time. Oh joy!


	12. Chapter 12: You're a knock out Hailey!

Chapter 12:

I hate grates.

No, not hate. Hates too less of a word to describe how I feel. More like I scorn it with an abhorrent dread. I loathe to be in them and quite frankly the person who though vents should be created should be hung over a pot of boiling oil and slowly dipped into it while horrible opera music screeched in their ears. So as you can see, there is not love lost in my animosity towards vents and therefore I was more than relieved when it looked like I would finally get out of the one I was currently in.

That relief quickly soured when I saw the Batman suddenly halt, quietly take the grate off its hinges and sneak out of view. Something was up, like they have been since the breakout had first started, and the Batman in all his heroic charade was ready to beat the living lights out of the culprit. God, if all men are like that then I don't understand how the world's still here.

"Hey, hey kids! It's your friendly, uncle J. Attention, we have three escaped patients. Dressed like a bat, a cat and one I don't even know what she's dressed up as. What idiots! Should be considered costumed and dangerous! Stop them, before they get someone hurt. Really, its for their own good!" While I don't like being addressed as an 'escaped patient', I do have the sense to know he is correct in that even I don't know what I'm supposed to symbolise. Perhaps it's insanity, or vengeance? Oh, I'm not getting into another debate with myself. I can't be bothered. Therefore, hitting men will have to do.

I took a quick peek out of the vent and saw multiple bat guys with high-tech guns. Batman must be taking them out one at a time so it would be better if I stay behind and wait for him to finish. But I'm annoyed and I have a lot of pent-up aggression to take out so I crept out and made my way towards a side of the room that was cloaked in shadow to hide me. Catwoman of course had tried to stop me but I shrugged her off. First she says to fight then she wants to hide in a vent while the Batman takes on five armed henchmen. Get your priories straight girl!

"You know what? I have a good feeling about this. You guys really have what it takes to beat the Bat! Not!" Well there's a vote of confidence for you guys! Not! Sarcastic comments aside, I will have to be careful while taking these guys out since they do have guns. I may not have all my screws in but I do know that guns are bad and will kill. So I hid myself and waited for a foolish inmate to patrol near me.

"Batman better not mess with me!" The guy muttered cautiously as I scanned him quickly with my eyes for details. Brown hair, short, and dull matching eyes that has a slight flicker of fear in them. Twitchy fingers signalling this guy is a trigger happy moron. Then there was a slither of dried blood on the handle from where he must of caught it when the gun had been fired last, suggesting he isn't used to using a gun. Gait therefore suggests hand to hand combat is his speciality. The gun is a assault rifle with a three-round burst with near deadly accuracy if used correctly, if I remember correctly. The inmate was dirtier then I was and I could smell from here the scent of a man who hadn't had a bath in years. The dirty orange of the prison jumpsuit stood out in stark contrast against the dreary surroundings and I clenched my teeth as I saw dark blotches of old blood stains on it.

I waited for him to pass by my hiding place before I sneaked up behind him and jabbed his throat and arm furiously so to render his gun and voice inoperable. Then came a blind punch that I easily deflected before I delivered another succession of jabs to his body causing him to go down hard. I wildly looked around to see if there was any other inmate. One, with almost foul looking blond hair was coming closer to my location by the stairs, though he hadn't seen me yet. I could try and hide again in my hiding place but it would be risky. Instead I opted to quickly and quietly sprint away from the scene of the crime till I got very near the main building of my level. I quickly climbed up and crouched to avoid anyone seeing me up there. My uniform may be stylish but it's in no way camouflage in this place so I'll need to take extra care due to that.

"Oh god, I've found someone. Get over here!" The ringing shout of an inmate stung my ears as I spotted the inmate from earlier crouching near the bodies of my victim. "C'mon. Wake up. He's out cold!" This guy's smart, not! Ok! Ok! I'll stop with the 'not' jokes. It was getting boring anyway.

"What are we going to do now?" another voice asked with a distinct aura of fear coating his voice like icing over that delicious cake I had in that Doctor's office. Mmm! Cake. I could so do with some more right now, since I've basically been eating slop my entire time here and finer foods are a delight to behold. I wonder what they eat outside of this place? Perhaps I should ask Selena when we get out of here, then I can start gaining a little weight on my scrawny frame.

"We've got to find him or we're next. You hear me?" I caught sight of a rippling cape in the light. B-man! I wondered where you were! By his position, I suppose he's going after the two guys checking out my victim. I scanned the rest of the room to see no one else apart from two bodies that the bat had taken down. One was near the vent and the other downstairs, both unconscious for what I predict to be a long time since the B-man does have mighty fists of vengeance.

"Batman? Can you hear me? Show yourself!" and 3 .. 2 ... 1! Here comes the bat to break your spines, dumb ass. I smiled, entertained by the sound of the dark knight's fists and feet connecting with the morons on the ground. Remind me to ask the dark knight to a fight one of these days, so I can see for myself if the guy deserves the title of 'king of the tough'.


	13. Chapter 13: Kung fu fighting

Chapter 13:

"Did you really think it was going to be that easy, Bats? I've sent a few more of my boys your way! Let's see how you deal with these odds!" I whistled once to signal to batman my location, and hilariously he span round to spot me. I waved in a slightly amused manner before noticing him rolling his eyes and taking out his grapler. A few seconds later, he was perched on an ugly gargoyle statue like some sort of ... bat ... ok? Wait! Why in the world is there Gargoyle here? Isn't this supposed to be a hospital? Oh, you know what I'm not going to even ask.

"Joker wants him found! Spread out!" Ugly number one grunted in a voice that defiantly sounded that he had gargled gasoline. Ok, three more inmates to take down. That's not too hard.

"He could be anywhere!" Ugly number two responded with a look of pure fear in his eyes. Where does the Joker get these pansy clowns? Get it? Clowns ... Joker ... Joker's gimmick is a clown. I don't know why I bother.

"Then keep your eyes open. Now move!" Ugly number one is on my hit list, the B-man can have the other two. If it's something I won't have, its sheer idioticacy and this guy is the poster child for idiots everywhere. I mean seriously, idiots are boring. Clever people are more entertaining as they can at least be artistic when they are trying to kill you, and generally more interesting to talk to. I look at Batman, catching his eyeline, before pointing from Ugly one to me and then him at Ugly 2 and three. He got the memo and took off to tango with his assigned targets. I slipped down off my little roof top hiding place and went after Ugly one who was rearing off to the left away from his pals. I started stalking him, noting he had the same gun as the other inmate but found his lack of shirt pretty weird. Doesn't evil get cold sometimes?

"He's nothing. Not even sure he's real. I mean, I've seen loads of people dressed up in my time, but who knows? Even one of you could be the Batman!" Gee Joker, paranoid much? Oh well, let's get cracking skulls. I took to a running sprint before using a move that occurred to me on the spot. As he turned around and began to raise his gun in an almost pathetic attempt to shoot me down. I darted forward and used my momentum to do a Headscissor take-down on the poor guy, landing in a primal couch, before running forward and finally taking him out with a final kick to the head knocked him unconscious.

"C'mon, he's just a loon like the rest of us. I mean, have you seen what he wears?" Joker's annoying voice pierced through the tension filled silence like a sniper's bullet. Ugly one's bleeding nose gave me momentary satisfaction before a bullet embedded itself in the wall a mere two inches away from my face. I whirled around to find my attack, Ugly number three, with his finger on the trigger on the parallel platform to myself. I spied the Bat tangling with Ugly one still, before launching myself over the edge of the platform and quickly grasping the floor of the other. The guy moved to shoot me but I managed to spin myself into a sideways flip and knock away the gun. My hands were slightly bruised by the effort but I was in the moment, so I didn't notice. He fell back and I was about to attack him when he pulled a knife from his jumpsuit. I had to fall back to avoid his swipe at me, causing me to drop to the floor - which HURT!

He lunged at me but hands appeared behind him, forcing him into a choke hold while the hands covered his mouth. He fought for a few moments before blacking out due to a loss of oxygen to his puny mind. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to hurt a girl?" Selena smirked before dropping the guy like a very heavy anvil. Oh Selena, I've never been so happy to see your furry face. Especially when it knocks crazy, knife wielding idiots out who try to carve me up like that prisoner everyone keeps going on about who has that funny name and self-mutilates himself. I smiled back, for real this time.

"Don't be scared, boys! He's just like you and me, just crazier. I mean, if anyone deserves to be locked up, it's him!" He's crazy, of course but at least he's the sort of good kind. It's pretty funny really how both Selena, Joker and Batman are all insane in their own little ways yet I still trust two out three of them at times. I seem to attack insanity, so I suppose it's inevitable but still it's weird. Weird, the word that describes the story of my life. Now available at any good asylum, 'the tales of Hailey', the weird girl with a weird back story who has weird friends. Contains: cruelty, sarcasm, amnesia and teddy bears. Now priced as only one bad decision to follow some woman around a madhouse for no good reason. Quite a page turner really. Ha, ha, ha.

"They were just like family. How could you? I think I'm going to cry!" Joker laughed like the psychopath he is while B-man applied to finishing blow to the last guy. I rubbed my neck and arms, which freaking ached from all this fighting, before following Selena and Batman towards the room's exit. One set of psycho's down; a whole island full to go.


	14. Chapter 14: I'm a female Sherlock Homes

Chapter 14:

Frank Boles had betrayed us.

You know, there's nothing - and I mean nothing - more disgraceful then betraying your fellow-man for a rogue-doctor who obviously has problems and a guy who has no dress sense, no morality and no sense of humour. It's completely below the belt to do something like that and personally I would rather die then become Joker's little pet. I don't know this 'Gordon' guy but its clear to me he's high on the list of command and also very important to the dark knight so it's preferably not a good idea to piss off Mr. Brooding either. I'd seen Frank Boles while I was still in my treatment cycle and believe me; I knew the whispers about him were true as soon as I laid eyes on him. How he was so arrogant that he was the best guard at Arkham that the great narcissist himself Edward Nigma was a shadow compared to him. How he constantly was caught totally wasted at work with the smell of alcohol permanently fixed on his breath. How he abused his responsibility as a guard so he could hurt even the meekest of patients in the Asylum who have done no wrong. How he was a monster reminiscent of Lyle Bolton aka Lock-up, who patients here still talk about with hushed tones and fearful voices.

So when we came on his defiled body, I was not at all sad about his demise.

The traitor was strapped tightly to a prisoner movement handcart that I had seen often to help transport some of the more aggressive patients/prisoners from point A to point B. His face was frozen in a horrific look of shock and fear that he had last felt before his new 'friends' had shot him and laughed about it while he bled out. The trademark green spray paint was sprayed disturbingly on the guy's face in the Joker's gimmicky smile, that I found not funny and in bad taste. A chain was wrapped around his legs, holding a sign up that read 'dead end, which was also unfunny and in bad taste. Seriously the joker must by now know how in bad taste and unfunny he is. Mustn't he?

"Joker must have figured out how I was tracking Gordon. Officer Boles' trail stops here!" The B-man spoke in an accent that I wanted to investigate thoroughly. He never uses slang or normal coarse language reserved by the inhabitants of the lower classes so therefore logically he must be high up on the food chain. Then there was that self-confidence and aura of charisma about him reserved for public speakers I'd seen on the news. I've heard that voice before perhaps? On TV I suppose.

Who are you dark knight? And why do I get the feeling I know you from somewhere?

"And so does our chances of finding the good commissioner alive without a bullet hole in his greying head!" The silken drawl of Selena just spelled out what we were all thinking but were afraid to speak out loud. No more leads, no more help and therefore no more hope for finding this 'Gordon' guy. Well, can't blame us for trying can you?

A warped sound rang out against the almost cutable silence held by all of us as someone attempted to contact the B-man with a radio that had exceptionally bad signal. He flicked a few switches and the noise intensified so we could all hear the impending conversation clearly. I looked at the Batman and formed the instant opinion that he must be from old money, due to the fact that I'm sure no one could afford any of his equipment or keep his accent clean of urban slang. So; Batman is currently a tall, rich, brooding guy who has a hero complex that would make the questioners here in Arkham cry in despair. Interesting.

" ... Can you hear me, Batman? I know you can!" A voice emerged from the warped and distorted sound as if a creature from the ashes. It imbued words with colours, shapes and textures like a paintbrush in the hands of a great artist creating their legendary masterpiece. It was a medley of aspirated consonants mingled with growled vowels that was considered standard of any urban gothamite yet seemed slightly beautiful for the ears unlike the rest of the men I have met. It carried fumes of arrogance and firmly stated pride while keeping its almost charismatic charm and elegance. Oh gods, that voice is as good as sin. "Yes, it is I. Edward Nigma, the Riddler and more importantly your intellectual superior. My genius has allowed me to easily hack into your primitive communications!" Edward Nigma? Riddler? More likely he's the new toy for me to play with. Ye-Gods that voice is to die for! Or kill for … wait what? Snap out of it Hailey, my dear, and stop acting like a nymphomaniac psycho who instantly falls for guys because of their creamy-dreamy voices that rival even the most beautiful of artworks … do I need to slap myself? No? Then behave! And do close your mouth honey, you're not a simpering bitch who drools after men. The Batman, actually from now on I shall call him B.M for short, tapped a few buttons on the device on his arm but I was unable to see exactly what he was doing but I predict that he must be trying to get a location on Eddie dearest. So predictable.

I looked around, conspicuously, before centring on a security camera that appeared to be watching every move. I slowly yet confidently walked a few paces around, testing that theory, before concluding that I was correct. That camera is watching me and therefore someone else is watching me. Given the choices, I would say it was either Joker, Harley or Riddler however if indeed it was Joker or Harley then by now they would have made some remark on the tanoy. Riddler it is then. So, he's interested in the two women hanging around B.M and I know that Catwoman is a high-class thief so he's not interested in her. Me then, and therefore he can't find any files on me. So he wants to know who I am, and he's interested in my connection to B.M. That gives me an advantage as he doesn't know who I am or what I'm capable of. The use of a camera suggests he is close but not in the Arkham facility itself since I guess it would be too dangerous to be on site. Therefore he's in Gotham so he can carefully manipulate B.M's movements and actions. The amount of machinery he would need to use to tap into Arkham security would be immense so that would create a lot of excess heat. Therefore, if he was an idiot, then the B-man could scan Gotham for irregular thermal energy but he isn't an idiot so he would want to hide the excess heat. How do you hide heat, well you would use an insulator of some sorts and there hides how I can find him. The background noise in the transmission, that's another clue. It sounds like electrostatic nonsense to the untrained ear but I can hear that through it there is background noise, specifically traffic from passing cars outside a second floor window along with faint voices that have the distinct tone of an Old Gotham citizen - not henchmen but people carrying on their ordinary daily lives. I've seen maps of Gotham when they first brought me here as they tried to make me tell them where I was from before my amnesia and if anything stood out. I recalled them clearly into my mind and tracked down highly populated areas matching this description. Old Gotham, roads, houses with two stories, and finally the breaker of the ice; insulation. Obviously a criminal would want to get their hands on materials, and talk says that the Broker, also known as Sherman Fine, can get you those materials without causing notice. So, houses in Old Gotham near a packed road with connections to Sherman Fine. Got you, Eddie. I smiled, savouring my new victory, before acting on my new intelligence.

"Mr. Nashton, also known as the Riddler. Genius intellect, vast stores of esoteric and trivial knowledge that he uses to commit his crimes. Obsessive compulsion to prove himself as being the superior to the individual known by the public as Batman. Uses clues, riddles and traps in order to test individuals who fall into his hands and has the philosophy that only the smartest individuals should survive. Nice little Bio, you know but you see … you're not particularly intelligent at all. Heck, I have amnesia and yet even I could figure out exactly where you are and how to bring you down. Not to mention the fact I've already solved the mystery of who Batman really is, unlike a certain person I might add!" I let out a hysterical bout of laughter, earning the freaked out looks on both Batman and Selena's faces. What Riddler didn't realise is that during my little speech, I was close enough to Batman to pickpocket one of his Batarangs which I promptly threw with pin-point accuracy to destroy his little toy camera. Of course, I had my suspicions on who Batman really is but I still don't know who specifically. I was completely bluffing out one of the supposedly 'intelligent' members of Gotham's criminal league and wasn't even breaking a sweat.

"What!" you know Riddler, your voice is very alluring when you're totally pissed off at little old me. You are after all, very cute when you're angry at me, and boy are you angry right now. I mean, everyone knows he desperately wants to find the identity of Batman so why not prey on this little fact? Especially if it's as fun as this. Oh, Eddie, how adorable you really are.

"Oh Eddie, didn't you know that? Well, I suppose only the your intellectual superior would be able to guess the Batman's name. After all, his name is the thing that can destroy or protect the entirety of Gotham if anyone ever found it out, so I imagine he'd keep it close and away from your petty mind. Face it Edward, you're second fiddle and if you dare to even try to come here to try to steal his name from my lips, I'll cut you so deep that you'll be in agony for days upon days. No words can describe the horrors I will inflict and believe me when I say you'll be begging me for death once it starts. So do yourself a favour, and fuck off!" My voice betrayed no sympathy, no fear and definitely no hint of the laughter I hid behind a stone smile. These people … how do they cope with their small little minds, it must be so boring. They honestly can't sense a bluff if their lives depended on it, oh the karma! I wouldn't even kill a person, never the less torture them so why are they taking my threat so seriously. I mean, come on! The looks on their faces are as genuine as anything and they have no idea that I've completely lying my ass off here. Oh, this is so much fun!

"You … you wouldn't … Batman's name … you can't of found it … you're lying … you have to be!" The poor guy was stuttering, how adorable! I've managed to turn the 'great genius' into a stuttering fool - how's that for entertainment? People are so stupid!

"Ta-at Eddie, we've got people to kill and monsters to slay. Run along and play with some other little pimpsqueek would you!" I dramatically dismissed him with my hand, even though he couldn't see it, to add to my bluff. The communication cut out and I found myself being stared down by my two best friends in the entire world, oh joy!


	15. Chapter 15: Frankie is deadie

Chapter 15:

"What?" I asked them innocently as I walked past old Frank Bole's body towards the doors to inspect them. Chained, great, with a lock that seemed pretty unpick able and secure by any standards. Now what? Obviously we'd have to find another way out, which I guess will involve some more vents. Brilliant! Just plain brilliant. I turned back to them, to see their mouths moving as they struggled to find the words to express themselves. "Look, I was completely bluffing you know. I don't know jack about your identity B-man and quite frankly I don't give a damn. All I want is out of this place and that's all. I owe none of you any allegiance and quite frankly it's ticking me off that you're thinking that. So without further ado, let's leave this hell hole and be on our merry way, comprende?" They looked at each other, silently deciding to look out and not trust me anymore I bet, before leaving the subject alone for a while. "Oh, and B-man? Would you mind trying to figure out how to use this blasted thing? I'm no tech expert and it would really mess up my day if it exploded in my face!" I passed him the weird gizmo thingy from my arm so he could inspect it. B-man is after all the closest I have to a computer geek. Ha, computer geeky B-man. How weird?

"This is Wayne tech, but it's been adapted slightly by someone else. It seems to be connected to the Wayne satellite through a secure relay station which masks the trail. The satellite is taking thermal and nuclear scans of specific areas of the United States and using them to plot the movements and locations of life forms onto a map. But this technology shouldn't have even been prototyped yet even at Wayne tech so how did you steal it?" First question; what's a Satellite? Or Wayne Tech? Or the United states for that matter? Why is everyone talking about stuff that means absolutely nonsense to me. Second question, like what Batman said; did I get this thing? If it's just a theory by this Wayne tech thingy then I shouldn't have been able to get one. So how did I get it? Questions, questions and even more questions. I get now why the Riddler went insane (he is, though he won't admit it), because quite frankly it is enough to drive a person crazy.

"You do know that you're talking to a freaking amnesiac you know? How the hell would I know where I got the thing?" I grumbled honestly, for the first time I might add. He hesitated in giving me back the device but eventually, and slowly for that matter as if he was handing me back a small bomb, he handed me it back. Ok, equipment check.

- Two 22. Caliber automatic handguns, unused with full cases of bullets.

- 2 sharp daggers, also not used.

- 1 device thingy, that from here on out I'm dubbing the 'The Hailey Positioning Device Communicator' or the HPDC for short as that name is more cooler and official-er.

- 1 high-class thief who is kind of like a mom/criminal mentor/nutcase to me.

- 1 high-class brooder who kicks ass and mops a lot. And I mean a lot.

Ok, let's get after one of the world's most crazy and psychotic serial murderers who will most likely want to beat and kill us - not necessarily in that order. I feel safer all ready! (Que sarcastic rolling of eyes)

"Over here!" I whipped my head around to the source of the shout, completely startled. Inmate? Harley? Joker? Alien? Nope, just a guard. Thank-god!

The guy was standing behind a heavy-duty door that was partly opened to reveal a passage out of the room. I felt like dancing, no vents! Yay! No creepy confinement in a tunnel that smells and looks more awful than Killer Croc's … you know I'm going to stop right there if it's ok with you. You know what I'm talking about anyway and if I did continue then I'd need someone to murder my imagination. So yeah, no thinking about THAT!

The guy was completely bold and had a pretty sweet goatee that looked well-groomed while his uniform was slightly creased signalling to me that he had recently been involved in psychical exercise - most likely trying to kill Joker's whore and her traitor ex-buddy. "It was a massacre. Boles came walking in telling everyone to cover the front entrance. Said something about Joker's army coming through the main gate! Two of my guys moved to the exit and Frank shot 'em dead. They never stood a chance!" Shows how much these guards know about how to guard an asylum. I mean it would be obvious to me if a guy said that the Joker had an army coming for him that the guy was lying. Joker doesn't operate that way, it's not his MO. However, I will give them the fact that Boles was a dirty, rotten coward who betrayed his own team when they had trust in him. Not their fault the guy is - well was - a traitor.

"Was Boles alone?" The Batman's brooding voice cut in straight for the information he needed. Nice and direct, good on you batsy.

"Though he was, then I saw Harley Quinn. She was surrounded by Blackgate prisoners. They were just killing everyone in the room! I had no choice! I got in here. Locked the door. I could see it on the security feed. They had someone with them, it looked like the commissioner!" Ok, the Gordon guy was alive when they took him out, that we now know. That gives us a timeline of events we can follow. Right now, Harley probably has taken Gordon out of Intensive Treatment and into either the Medical Facility, Penitentiary, Botanical Gardens or Mansion to lead us away from the Joker and buy time for his stupid plot. I wouldn't say that Harley would go to the Gardens as that's not her style but the other three are more likely. I'd hate to go to the pentitentiary anyway. The only reason I wasn't stored there was because all the guards, inmates and doctors were men and me being female would not be a good mix considering I was pretty weak around that time and most inmates hadn't seen a woman in years. Trust me when I say it would not be pretty if I go there. Not in the slightest.

"Boles is dead! They carried on without him. Must of outlived his usefulness!" His usefulness being that he was a basic key to get Harley out of here. I started fidgeting with the HPDC device on my arm to get a better idea of the population of the island. Although it's hard to tell with some areas as they are underground and hidden from me, I'd say most of the prisoner population is in the Penitentiary while the Gardens are the least populated. So the safest place is in the Gardens, if we get into any trouble.

Good to know.

"Good! He was scum!" I'm with this guy, Frankie boy was in fact total scum. The guard moved away from the door and went inside to kneel beside a fallen comrade who looked very dead. "I'll look after Maria, I promise!" whose Maria? The guard or one of his kids? No idea but this is getting depressing so we'd better get out of here and look on the bright side of things.

Boles was dead.


	16. Chapter 16: Rants with inanimate objects

Chapter 16:

Walking is annoying.

Seriously, it's freaking annoying and kills my feet. Not to mention I'm exhausted from having to fight everybody who thinks they're king of the Asylum. And hungry, don't forget hungry. Very hungry. I just hope we come across a cafeteria on this island really. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, where do they get that slop they call food from? I haven't seen a kitchen or anything like that, but I suppose they must get it boxed in from Gotham city. Which means; no food unless I strike lucky and get to today's shipment before anybody else does. Chances are unfortunately low though and I'll probably not get any yet. Perfect! No food. I might as well die.

"I apologise for this interruption to our regular broadcast. Jack Ryder is live from the Gotham Bay area with some breaking news!" a pretentious voice echoed off the walls through a compact device strategically positioned on a bench. What the hell is that? A speak-y box like a television but with no pretty pictures? What's the point? Pretty pictures are always worth my time and not having them just purely sucks. Stupid machine, stupid people as well for making it. Well, I don't want to have a rant against a non-atomic object but I just have to put that out there and leave it at that. Seriously, I am weird person … maybe a madhouse is where I truly belong. But, it would be so boring wouldn't it … yeah, I suppose it would be better if I break out of here and cause some mayhem. Just for kicks of course.

"This is Jack Ryder with breaking news in the Gotham bay!" obviously, the guy just said that. A bit slow on the uptake Jacky boy! "We're getting reports of an armed siege on Arkham Island. Two minutes ago, Joker broadcast to all new channels this chilling message!" leave it to the Joker to boast about his successes. And it's not just a 'armed siege' Jackie, it's more like 'The-jokers-gone-psycho-and-has-decided-to-have-a- party-while slaughtering-us-good/slightly bad but in a good way-guys'. However that's more of a mouthful so 'armed siege' it is.

"Greetings, Gotham. This is the voice of your new master. Oh, hang on … I've skipped a bit!", cue me chuckling to myself. What? It was funny! Not particularly gold flavoured comedy but funny all the same. Good old Joker, always knows how to cheer me up and put a smile on my face. Literally he'd do that. Just ask Boles! What? Too soon? "Joker here! I'm in control of Arkham Island and you can all consider it out-of-bounds. If I see any lawmen, vigilantes or do-gooders in tights coming this way; I'll start detonating random bombs around the city. What'll it be? A kindergarten? A hospital? A billionaire's mansion? Choices, choices, choices!" I have no idea what those things are but by the tone I suppose it's not good places for a bomb to go off. Great, trigger happy clown on the loose. Anything else the universe wants to throw at me today? Seriously annoying, I mean Gotham can't be that bad a place to have this sort of thing going on twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week? Or is it?

"All access to the island has been restricted, airspace is closed off and early reports suggest that Batman himself is trapped on the island. We'll be right here, reporting live on any developments. Back to the studio!" Thanks for stirring up panic Jackie boy! Really helpful. Seriously, what self-respecting person says 'oh and your only hope of not being conquered by a freak in a mask is very close to death, sleep tight'. You know, it must be so boring for these people going about their daily lives completely idiotic and looking for panic and misery. Fortunately, we have people with brains who can shake things up a little. Or is it unfortunately is some cases? Neutral then, I conclude.

"Thanks Jack. More as it happens!" The radio cut to some boring music that was quickly irritating on my ears. We moved on and I soon became bored with walking again. Who ever I was in my past life, I know that I Must have been very absent-minded and easy to be bored with. I always find a certain subject to enthuse about and then as quickly I move on to another, with the attention span of a very psychotic genius. But anyway, bored of that subject so let's switch to a name of what I'll call us merry crew. The Crazy Crime fighters? Lame. The Arkham Crew? Seen it. Batman and co? Not likely. So … what will it be? I know! The CHB, for both our acronyms and to stand for crazy-hot-bastards. Strange I know but so am I and I'm proud of it baby.

We pasted through a room I think must have been used for storage and I was suddenly hit by how the inmates around here are superbly good at wreaking and rampaging through things. Honestly; they threw documents everywhere, tipped over filing cabinets and even put a freaking chair on top of a crate. Why, you are asking? I have no idea but it's dedication I can appreciate! Well done guys!


	17. Chapter 17: Out of the frying pan

Chapter 17:

Anyway we have yet another vent. Boring but at least I know now not to piss off B-man since he ripped it off with waves of pent-up aggression. Seriously, he needs to take care of that. Perhaps Selena can relieve him of some of his troubles and make him purr … oh god someone murder my imagination! Like now! Shoot it! Please! Anyway, after crawling around for a few moments in who knows what, we finally got to the end of the disgusting vent system and reached a disgusting cave system. Slime on the walls, water-logged floors and frankly a weird scent of mould penetrated the tunnel and quite frankly I think the universe hates me but whatever. I'll take it swinging. Talking of swinging, there the Dark Knight goes again with his macho pride to swing kick another offending vent opening that I would not like to be at this moment in time. Boy, he needs to get a girlfriend … or boyfriend? I never asked. I climbed out of the stinking vent and accidentally touched the walls of the cave. Ew. Just ew! Why do all the places I go to end up to be really disgusting? When I get out of this place then I am so going high-class everything. No more disgusting places for me. Rather a rich, clean and utterly sinful land of promises. Sounds like a treat.

At the end of the tunnel, came a sunrise or rather a steep climb upwards to get to a ledge above me in order to get to that said sunrise. Or moonrise, I suppose. I didn't actually know that it was this late in the day, well time does fly when you're kicking ass and taking names. The view from the overhang was incredible, seriously someone made a mistake in putting an Asylum here instead of a five-star hotel. It's a seriously cool view but the creepy Asylum architecture is sort of an eyesore. Complete horror overboard, I mean no wonder everyone here is slightly insane. All we need now is some dramatic music playing in the background and we'd be set for a horror feast.

We couldn't stay up there forever however, and with the help of two grappler guns and a crack expert in whips (pun intended), we scaled down to the Arkham grounds while surprising some very idiotic guards below. I glared at them amused as they freaked out upon seeing the sudden appearance of us. We were a pretty weird bunch anyway, what with tall, dark and brooding, a high-class thief with a fetish for cats and a lush but fierce amnesiac walking around as if they own the place. But we do and we're proud to be freaks of nature. Freaky and proud, that's our motto. Kind of. Sort of. Not really. Ok, not at all. But its amusing to dream.

"Hmm, Harley tells me that the Batman's car is still parked just outside of the intensive treatment building. Now, we can't just have him up and leave us, can we? Every thug, villain, murderer and kindergarten teacher that isn't carrying out party orders should head there now and smash it to pieces!" the squeaky voice of the Joker played over the intercom. I chucked slightly, finding his comments to become even more amusing as they went on. Oh great, now I'm finding the Joker to be funny. Am I on Joker toxin? Nope? Then I must be insane. Tell me something I don't know. Ok now I'm having conversations with myself, perfect. Just bloody perfect …


	18. Chapter 18: Cat fights are vicious

Chapter 18:

An obnoxious guard nearby tried to phone in for some backup at the mansion grounds but I wasn't really concerned with that right now. Not my problem any more, since we're out of here anyway. "So, this is the surface? Well B-man, it was nice to meet you. Phone us up once you get in the city! Till then see ya!" finally, we get away from that creepy dude. Seriously, never trust a freak in a mask! He'll either kill you, imprison you or kick your ass. And that's just the nice ones. I expected Selena to walk beside me as I set off in the direction of a dock in hopes of commandeering a boat to get across the bay and into crazy town for some fun and games. Instead I felt a hand pull me back and turn round as Selena looked at me with a slight nervous expression on her face. Ok, now I'm confused.

"Hailey, perhaps we shouldn't leave this quickly-" She started to say but I butted in enraged at her words.

"NOT LEAVE THIS QUICKLY?" I yelled at her, not caring if any hostiles were nearby. "What the hell are you thinking Selena? This place is a battleground and the most sensible thing to do right now is retreat not fight. Now I don't give a flying damn if you want to steal something from this place nor do I care about your pitiful attempts to get into the Batman's pants so either you come with me or I'll leave you behind. You forget Selena, I owe you nothing and therefore I don't care about you. So take your pick Selena and chose very wisely, you won't get another chance!" I gave her a look of disgust. Of course, she'd fall for Batman and now it's going to be the thing that will kill us both. Cutting her off is the only way to protect myself from her weakness, and I don't care what Holly said about staying with her as I'm only out to protect my own skin. I'm a survivor, not a fool.

"You misunderstand me Hailey, and I do not appreciate what you are implying right now. So unless you want to keep your face, I'd suggest you shut up and listen to what I have to say, is that clear?" She stepped forward towards me with a face twisted with wrath. Ok, I've pissed her off. Good, now she's more likely to make mistakes. Or kill me, whatever works. "Harley Quinn just dropped an elevator on our asses. I don't like bitches who think they can do that so I want revenge. Therefore, we work with Batman to get to Harley in order to scratch her eyes out. That sufficient enough for you?" ok, that's a convincing argument. One worthy of merit, and I do admit I want revenge on that slut. Damn it Selena, you've got me!

I sighed, taking in the convincing argument before my pride stepped in. "So it's the freedom vs. beating up crazy sluts debate. I admit it's hard to decide what I want more so … I'll cut you a break. Let's kick her head in then take a nice swim to the mainland, before finally finding something to eat in the godforsaken place. Deal?" she looked at me with a stony expression before nodding.

"Deal!" She walked past me, and for a second I saw a nervous glimmer in her eye. She's frightened of me, and what I can do, which will make it easier later on for me to take advantage of. I noticed that Batman wasn't exactly listening in on our little bitch match, instead he was having a conversation into his earpiece. Ok, enough phantom helpers. I grabbed my device and furiously started pushing buttons. The layout was remarkably easy to navigate, and within moments I managed to hack into Batman's communications. It seems Nigma was right about Batman's 'primitive communications' being 'easily hackable', go figure.

"Ok, done! The Batmobile is still parked up outside the Intensive Treatment building in Arkham North. I've sent you the schematics for the entire island. I've marked key locations like your car!" I wonder who this person is? Obviously it's a she, due to the feminine tones of the voice. But everything else is a mystery. An enigma? Clever pun if I do say so myself. She's helpful I give you that and, this is conjecture, probably some rich snob from a posh school. Still, it would be nice to know who it is.

"Thanks oracle!" Batman, I knight you Sir. Gruffy mouth of obvious. Rise now and please trip over on your way out. Oh, I'm a hit; I really am.

"Oracle says that the sensors on the Batmobile have been triggered. Harley Quinn is the most likely suspect and there may be clues as to where she took the commissioner. Follow me!" One step closer to beating the whore's head in to pulp and two steps closer to getting something to eat. Yum, food. I'd love to have something other than garbage to have right now. Mind over matter, Hailey, mind over matter.


	19. Chapter 19: Paging Dr Hailey!

Chapter 19:

The Dark Knight led us across some really ill-kept grass paths, for god's sake someone fire the janitors and gardeners for this place, towards a really secure looking door that I'm sure could withstand nearly anything including a bomb, several idiotic henchmen running headfirst into it and us. It was being guarded by some very butch looking guards that were obviously scared shitless. Gee, Arkham really is a crap facility. Bad security. Bad gardeners. Bad cleaning crew. Seriously, how has this place still running?

"Batman, thank-god you're here! It's a massacre in there; one of the senior officers went back in there with a couple of guys and ordered us to remain here till reinforcements arrive. We haven't heard from them since!" So why haven't you gone in yet? Seriously, do we have to do everything around here? We're not superman! Or are we … after all Batman is supposedly friends with Superman according to the rumours. However, remember the bombs Hailey that Joker has planted all over the city. Superman would never risk the bombs going off and killing people so it's certain that we're without backup here. Great, think happy thoughts Hailey. Really happy thoughts.

Inside the tunnel, a fire fight was being waged and won by the inmates of Arkham Asylum.

Bodies littered the floor, scattered without respect or honour given to them. Blood spilled from their open wounds, swirling and mixing with the dirt around them. Their frightened expressions captured forever as they felt the life leave them and became scared of the prospects of leaving the world in such a grim place. I empathized with their sacrifice, knowing their fear of the unknown more than anyone, and the threat of tears had to be fought back with a bitter vengeance. No weakness, I can't … I won't be wreak. To be weak would be to die, and I live to be strong. I closed my eyes, and regained my composure before returning myself to a clinical and cold woman to defend myself with whatever I could gain. I observed things around me; an ambulance that was dead and broken, a wounded doctor kneeling near his friend's corpse and the sounds of gunfire with coarse and maniacal laughter mixed in hit my ears with overwhelming force. Animals. The inmates are animals to do this. I hung back as Batman approached the wounded doctor to speak with him out of courtesy and a background feeling of horror as I stared at the hollow eyes of his dead friend. As a human, I reserve the right to pity and morn the dead in my own way. Death is after all, something I am quite at unease with.

"I can't believe it, they killed Jackson!" he spoke, hardly able to stop his grief from showing through his words. I averted my eyes slightly and studied the words on the ambulance, which I know of due to the fact that I was transferred here by one to start my treatment. Ironic really, that beside a object of healing is death and grief. Too ironic for my taste. Too morose for words …

"Stay with your colleague. I'm ending this, now!" the Batman spoke as Catwoman swore like a sailor and headed off beside him like a tamed kitten. God, she needs a boyfriend. How desperate? Anyway, I stayed with the wounded man and after a few seconds of hesitation stretched out my hand to examine the wound on his arm. He snapped his head towards me in fear but I dared him with a single look to test me. He gave in of course, and I managed to see that while the skin was pierced and bleeding greatly, there didn't seem to be any nerve damage. On impulse, I did something completely unlike me which would be to sneak inside the overturned ambulance to get something to secure the wound and help him. I guess it must have been either bravery or stupidity or maybe both in conjunction that caused me to do something that rash but I wanted to help this man who had lost everything. I hardly noticed the bullets flying over my head or the shouts of alarm as the enemy saw me and tried, unsuccessful, to kill me. Inside the ambulance, I regained my senses.

Riddled, ok no more Riddler puns I promise, with holes from bullets; the ambulance was totalled. It was hard to stay on my feet when below me was littered with various medical artefacts and shell casings. I noticed a large green box marked 'first aid', kind of a stupid title since why do you need to number them anyway, which seemed like a good choice to help the guy. I grabbed it; thankfully as the place I had previously stood it now had a bullet hole where my head used to be, before dashing out of there as fast as I could. The box was mildly heavy and slightly inconvenient but I managed to crouch low enough to get towards the guy unharmed.

"Thanks! There should be a roll of bandages in there along with a bottle of Alcohol, a tourniquet and some medical scissors!" I opened the box and rummaged around in it for a little. What's Alcohol and a 'tourniquet' anyway, it sounds painful? Eventually I found the things he wanted and laid them out on a clean piece of fabric. Grunting in pain a little; the man continued "Start by tying the tourniquet, which is the tie thing, around my arm; since I can't do it myself. After that, pour the bottle over the wound to clean it!" I followed his instruction diligently but when he started to cry out in pain when the colourless liquid touched him skin I froze. I've caused pain before don't misunderstand it but this was horrible even for me. When he finally regained his senses and stopped crying out; he spoke again. "Now, wrap the bandage around my arm before cutting it after you've secured it, and you'll be done!" I tried to ignore his grunts of pain while tying the bandage, before blocking it out entirely. Concentrate on the job, Hailey, and block anything else out. Get in the zone … oh great now I'm referring to myself in third person. Maybe I am insane! Yippee! Not!

"Ok, that should be it. There's some guards outside; make a run for it and find somewhere safe. I'm going to help the Bat!" my voice sounded calmer then I felt. Medicine is so not for me. Really, it isn't. I got up and finally noticed the loss of gun fire around me. Ok, eerie … "Bats? You kick those guy's asses yet?" I called in a voice that was far more confident than I was. I crouched around the side of the ambulance, and casually observed the wounded man getting up and hurrying out of here clutching his bandaged arm. Hopefully they can get somewhere safe away from the mad clown's grip … hopefully.

I hopped up on top of the ambulance, before running across and grabbing the side of the ledge before anybody saw me; whether friendly or not friendly. The ledge was slippy a little with the amount of moss growing on it but I managed not to slip over on my butt long enough to reach the other side and have a look whether I was going to drop into a safe zone or drop in to a circle of guys who'd shortly put a twenty-two calibre bullet in my forehead in fright. Nope; the two costumed freak shows were arguing between them both while the floor was littered with the unconscious bodies of the inmates who had started this little piece of chaos:

"I'm just saying; you don't have to wear that mask all the time!" Miss Kitty-cat is so desperate to get laid. For god's sake; she has a whip, a leather outfit and a freaking slutty attitude to make the Queen slut herself; Harley Quinn blush. Get her a boyfriend! Or a girlfriend? Just something!

"Selena, my identity is not up for discussion. Now leave it!" Mr. McGruffin is so dull; like so dull. Boring; so freaking boring. Shoot me please; or him whatever works!

"Oh sure; because everything has to be a mystery with you. Your Mr. anonymous with your fancy technology that either you bought, made or stole I might add. You could at least trust me enough not to reveal that about you batsy!" Hey; that's my idea that he's a rich boy! Get your own.

"Leave it alone!" Oooohhhhh! On the defensive now batty-boy? What's wrong? Not secure enough in your masculine pride to admit a tiny little detail with this chick who'll totally get you laid?

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Oh shut up you two; your giving me a blinding headache!" I shouted over the really immature fuss. I go for a couple of minutes and they start arguing like a pair of infants. How in the world does Gotham exist still? I rolled my eyes dramatically at their angry ass stares at me. Whatever losers!

"The entire island will soon be under my control. That's right, boys and girls. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Just wait till you see my plans for this place. It's going to be glorious!" Yay, the Jokers back with his weird ass but somehow hysterically funny commentary. My life is complete … -ly over!

"You shut it too!" I shouted back; aware that I'm having an argument with a madman who can't even hear me. Oh; my head hurts! It's seriously pounding and I'm really not feeling well. When I got a headache ages ago; some Questioner prescribed me some white pills to help me. Maybe I can find some around here somewhere?


End file.
